Two Girls, a TV, a Million Things Going Wrong
by Storm Karstark
Summary: MARY SUE ALERT! I wrote this just because I wanted to try a cliche fic. Read on...if you're brave enough.
1. The Storm

*Disclaimer* I own nothing, not even my sanity.  
  
A/N: This was written with stupidity in mind. The main characters are very much Mary Sues. I just wanted to write a Mary Sue fic for my own twisted enjoyment. Read on!  
  
Chapter 1- The Storm  
  
I was staring at the person who figured in all my obsessions. He was tall, fair, handsome...so close that I could reach out and touch him...but he didn't even know I existed. Such a sad life for a teen, especially one who just turned sweet 16. He was leaving. I couldn't bear to lose him...   
  
So I found my remote control and hit pause, just so I could savor the sight of Legolas one more time, flicking a strand of dishwater blonde hair expertly out of my eyes. My friend Turan heaved a sigh, because this was about the fifteenth time I had done this.  
  
"Come on, Vinya. Can we watch at least five minutes without you pausing it?!" I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Look at that, Ainaelda. I mean, no other close-up grasps the feeling, the emotion, the loss in those incredibly dreamy eyes..."  
  
"Earth to Vinya, he's getting off his horse. Now gimmie that remote!"  
  
"Never!" I cried in my most Middle-Earth-ish voice. What ensued was something close to a rough WWF smackdown. Suddenly, while I was getting Ainaelda into a headlock, there was a loud crack of thunder from the storm outside, and the power went out. Now, I'm not really the screaming kind, so there wasn't a burst of noise. In fact, we both fell silent. Because the T.V. was still working. The movie was unpaused, even though the remote lay untouched about three feet away. We stared at the T.V. in utter silence, uncomprehending. Even the rain seemed to diminish in volume, even though it could only be raining harder. I let Ainaelda go, and we both stared at the T.V., watching the scene switch from Legolas to totally geeky Aragorn, even though Ainaelda somehow has a major crush on him. Ainaelda turned to get her mom when the silence was broken by an unexpected and even louder clap of thunder. We both jumped, Ainaelda cannoning into me, and myself into the T.V. There was a flash of white light, then nothing.  
  
First off, my real name is not Vinyaduriel, though it might as well be. That would be my Elven name. My name's Katty Watson, and I just turned 16. Obviously, Ainaelda is not her real name; she's Jasmina Heath, and she turned 16 way before me. We've been friends, quite literally, since we were born. We were born in the same hospital and grew up with each other. There is nothing about Mina that I don't know, and vice versa. We're both completely and utterly obsessed with LOTR, almost to the point of danger. We both speak fluent Quenya and Sindarin (though I prefer Sindarin), do passably well in archery, can read any runic dialect Tolkein cares to throw at us, and you can't see our wallpaper because of all the posters. Our parents even took us to a psychiatrist, who demanded three big ones for telling us that we are 'living unsatisfactorily in our day-to-day lives, and thus prefer to immerse ourselves in a culture that better appeals to our adventurous and creative instincts.' Yeah. My parents weren't too happy. So, they let us be (after making us pay back that money), calling me Rion and her Ainaelda, even helping to quiz us in Quenya, which gave me some trouble, at first. At school, though, the majority of our teachers called us Katherine and Jasmina, not even Katty and Mina; our fellow classmates used our real names as often as they could, just to rub in the fact that they were our real names. I'm not quite sure if I believed Tolkein's world was real; but I know that I hoped with all my heart that it was. Back to my immediate problem.  
  
Remember earlier, when I said I don't scream much? Well, in the minutes that followed after I crashed into the T.V., I made up for years of lost time. In my head, all I could hear was that music from the 'Twilight Zone', you know, that dee-dee-DEE-dee, dee-dee-DEE-dee sort of thing. It almost seemed like I was floating. Then, I collapsed onto something soft.  
  
Shaken, I looked around. I was in the middle of a forest. I looked around again, a little slower this time. A forest...a very familiar forest...  
  
"Suh-WEET!" I yelled, "I'm in Rivendell!" Unfortunately, Ainaelda was nowhere to be seen. I mean, I've read too many sci-fi/fantasy books not to know what was and was not real. So, there was no 'Oh, I must be dreaming, this is so not happening' period of denial. I knew I was in Rivendell, and I knew this was not a dream. I looked around once more, both taking in the scenery and looking for Ainaelda. I began to feel a bit panicky at the knowledge that she wasn't here. I heard movement outside the forest. I looked around for the source of it. It was a horse...and it was carrying Legolas!  
  
Man, do you know how completely and totally awesome that was?! I mean, the obsession of my life for the past YEAR or close enough comes riding up, in person. I stood there with my jaw hanging stupidly open, because he is SO much hotter in real life (well, could you call this real life?) than he is in the movie. Then I shook myself back to life and closed my mouth. "Wait," I muttered, "Legolas isn't supposed to be at the Council, we're past that! He's in Moria, fighting off the Watcher!" He must have heard something, because he looked around, then peered into the woods in my direction. Suddenly petrified, I dove behind a small hillock with an 'eep' of alarm. He didn't suddenly appear over the edge looking at me, so I assume he either didn't see me or didn't find me enough of a threat to investigate. But someone else apparently did. I turned on my back to catch my breath and reassess my situation, and found another face looking down at me.  
  
I was feeling incredibly jumpy already; finding a stranger catch me didn't help my fraying nerves any. But, I was over my screaming, so I just switched straight to panic mode. I scrambled backwards in a deranged parody of a crab walk.  
  
"Don't hurt me, please, I didn't do anything-" I stopped in mid-sentence, suddenly realizing exactly who I was talking to. It was Arwen Undomiel! As in, the Evenstar! I also realized that I was taking for granted that she knew English. What was I talking about? Hadn't I spent more hours watching this movie than I have breathing? Hadn't I read the book more times than is probably healthy? Of course she knew English! Arwen smiled and laughed. I got an excellent idea in my mind. "M-mae govannem..." She had such a musical laugh...  
  
"Indeed! Oh, calm down, Elf-child! I wouldn't dream of hurting an innocent like you!" Apparently, I wasn't as proficient in Sindarin as I thought, because she answered me in Eng-uh, wait, stop the tape. I did NOT just hear her call me Elf-child! Or...did I? As casually as I could, I slowly raised a hand to the side of my head and delicately felt along it until I found my ear. I patted along the curve of it with my fingertips. It wasn't shell-shaped, like it had been for the last sixteen years of my life; it was quite obviously and definitely pointy! I was completely floored. I was an Elf! A real, honest-to-goodness, pointy-eared, immortal, Elf! The whole nine yards, the complete package! Oh, this was way too cool! Then, a thought struck me like a harp chord and resonated. Hey, Legolas was single. And I was an Elf. Perhaps it could happen...? I snapped back to reality, realizing Arwen was looking at me funny. "Child, are you all right?" She apparently thought I was checking an injury, not realizing for the first time that I wasn't human. I mean, you don't really expect people to do that, do you? She knelt in one graceful movement and gently tilted my head to the side. Her fingers were gentle and soft. "Oh, you've got a bruise here, maybe a concussion. You're lucky I was out hunting today, or I might not have heard you! What happened? I heard you scream, and I came over." I opened my mouth, furiously searching for a plausible excuse. Abruptly, it came to me.  
  
"I was looking for my friend, so, you know, I climbed the tree," I gestured vaguely above me, "and I lost my footing. You know." Oh please. That sounded lame even to me. However, she nodded understandingly.  
  
"Well, I'll call off this hunting expedition and we'll get that head looked at." I looked around. Where WAS Ainaelda? I couldn't very well leave without her.  
  
"But, my friend..." Arwen was very condescending, I found.  
  
"Oh, yes, we'll find your little friend if she's lost as well. Now-" She never really finished that sentence, because we both heard someone scream, and branches snapping. Yep. I'd know that voice anywhere. Ainaelda had come to Middle Earth. Then I heard an all too familiar voice yell, and the scream rose in volume and panic.  
  
"Ta naa neuma!" I jumped up, hoping to God that they wouldn't shoot my best friend.  
  
"NO! It's not a trap! THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND!" I repeated the message as loud as I could, in Sindarin, Quenya, and again in English. I ran towards the source of the commotion, amazed at how FAST I could run now. After all, I was an Elf, wasn't I? Ha!  
  
True to my prediction, Ainaelda was lying in a heap, surrounded by Elves with an arrow knocked and drawn on their bows. I shoved through them and helped her up, hoping she would catch on as quickly as I had. She did. I mean, we read all the same stuff, we share the same mentality. How could I have doubted her? She gave Arwen the evil eye, knowing perfectly well who she was. I believe I mentioned earlier that she has the hugest crush on Aragorn? It must be sad, being infatuated with a man who's already as good as married. Wait a minute, what was I talking about? Didn't I have a crush on an ELF, for Pete's sake? Then again, that was before I became an Elf and landed in Middle Earth.  
  
I helped her up as Arwen went around and got all those bows put away, for which I was eternally grateful. Sure, I enjoy being an Elf. And I'd really like it to last longer than five minutes, and those arrows were no joke. Once we sorted everything out, and it was confirmed that Ainaelda and I were not threats, we all started back for the house of Elrond. SWEET! Hey, exactly how many sixteen year olds do YOU know that can say that? In a flash, it seemed, Arwen suddenly remembered her manners.  
  
"Oh, I've been so rude! I never introduced myself. My name is Arwen Evenstar. This is Arioch, Elentari," She went on to name everyone in her hunting party. I sincerely hoped I wouldn't have to remember this, because all those names just flew in one ear and out the other. Then, "Now then. What are YOUR names?"  
  
"Vinyaduriel," I said, all too conscious of the missing surname.  
  
"Ainaelda," she said, apparently catching my growing doubts. I kept getting the feeling that we had only dressed up as Elves, and any second they would figure it out, slaughter us mercilessly, then pretend it was an accident. Arwen looked politely puzzled. Dude, mystic Elf or no mystic Elf, she had better drop that 'Oh, I must be talking to a two year old' attitude, or she would really learn the consequences of giving up her immortality. Sorry. Moving on.  
  
"Do you have a last name?" We both shook our heads in unison. The other Elves from the hunting party looked at us sympathetically. I was getting the feeling that this probably connotated we were orphans, or something. Boy, that must be rare. How can you be an orphan when your parents are immortal? I was fully ready to cook up some bogus story, but Arwen didn't ask any questions. That's right; don't ask a two year old about their parents; they might cry. I'll give HER a reason to cry.  
  
I couldn't stop staring once we got into the city, or whatever. I mean, this is all great in the movie theatres. But this was REAL. All of it was real. Real buildings, real Elves, real everything. It was absolutely astonishing. It was really a shame that Tolkein never got to visit the world he created; he'd be a lot more gratified.  
  
Arwen led us to whatever passed for an infirmary, and got the bruises we accumulated from our, I don't know what you would call it, dimensional leap? Luckily, there was no concussion, only bruises, and those were quickly taken care of. There's one thing I sure don't miss about home. These medicines were miracle workers. Then, Arwen led us to rooms that we could share. Once the door shut, we turned to each other, gripped each other's arms, and shrieked. Once we got over that, we looked around, amazed. Because hey, we were in an Elven town; there was a hell of a lot to be amazed about. I glanced at Ainaelda, then did a double take.  
  
"What?" she asked, suddenly, noticing, "What's wrong? God, I don't have a zit or anything, do I? Oh, that would just be perfect, wouldn't it?" She went on, but I didn't listen. She looked different. I mean, the frizzy brownish, redish curls that I had grown up seeing her with were changing. It wasn't so frizzy any more, and it was definitely becoming more redish tinted, like she had gotten highlights. And her eyes. They weren't just a pale green anymore; the green was still pale, but it was clearing and deepening, so you couldn't possibly miss it. And was she taller? "Hey, Rion. What happened? You look...different." Was it happening to me, too?  
  
"Yeah, so do you..." We stared at each other for a second, then raced over to the mirror. I beat her there and stared hard at my reflection.  
  
Oh God, it WAS changing! Like her, my hair wasn't frizzing out to the great wazoo anymore, and it wasn't wavy or triangular, like the yield sign that it usually was. It was straightening and smoothing. And, like her, it looked like I had gotten highlights as well, pure blond ones, like my hair had finally made up its mind between blond and brown. Again, like her, my eyes changed too. They weren't a cloudy mix of whatever color it decided to be that day. They were blue, a powerful blue almost the shade of Arwen's in the movie, only a touch darker, like a sapphire. Which was weird, because out in the woods, her eyes were the fabulous grey Tolkien said they were. Wow, that was going to be really weird... Well, anyway, no, it wasn't my imagination; we were both taller, and our hair was gradually getting longer. We were turning into Elves!  
  
A/N: Cliches, how I love thee so! And, sadly, there is more to come... 


	2. Feasts and Meetings

*Disclaimer* I don't own anything. More's the pity.  
  
A/N: ::cringes:: I'm scarily good at writing this stuff...read on!  
  
Chapter 2- Feasts and Meetings  
  
I hadn't realized that Ainaelda still thought she was human; her scream nearly raised the roof before I managed to smother the noise with a handy pillow. However, it was a scream of joy, so I didn't have to worry about her pulling a Van Gogh and cutting her ears. I flopped on the bed and sat Indian-style, inviting her to join me when she finally calmed down enough to string together a coherent sentence.  
  
"So, Ainaelda, what took you so long getting here? It was almost ten minutes or so."  
  
"Was it, Katty? I don't know. You were gone, and I looked around for you. Then, I was gonna go get mom when the movie acted funny again. It started rewinding, faster than my VCR could do. Then, it stopped at the Rivendell scene. And Legolas, instead of looking around, he looked into the woods, like he was looking at something. But anyway, I couldn't find you. Then the T.V. turned off. Then on again. Then off. I hit the screen to turn it on again." I sat up, angry.  
  
"What? YOU HIT MY T.V.!" I yelled. She flinched.  
  
"Yeah, stupid, I know, but I was panicking, okay?"  
  
"DON'T HIT MY T.V.!"  
  
"Well, it's in MY house, remember?" Oh, really, Ainaelda? I guess I missed that one...  
  
"But you were borrowing it from me! You don't just hit other people's televisions!" She looked impatient. After all, it wasn't HER television that got abused.  
  
"Look, this isn't the greatest place to whine about your T.V., okay? I'm sorry. Can I continue with my story, or do you want to bitch about the stupid T.V.?" I would have liked nothing better than to keep on haraunging her about my television, but she pressed on before I had a chance to say anything. "Cool. Anyway. Then, it turned on again right before I hit it. But I had my momentum going, you know? So I hit it. Then, the next thing I know, I'm lying on the ground with about two dozen arrows staring me in the face." I sat there silently until she finished. Then I had to do a little more protesting. I should so be a lawyer when I grow up. You get to argue and use big obscure words. What's not to like?  
  
"Vinyaduriel. We're in Middle Earth, and we're Elves. We need Elven names." She shook her head so violently that her hair stood on end. Which, you know, was pretty hard to do, seeing how long it was getting.  
  
"Don't you get it? The minute we start to let our Elven names replace our own, that's when you give up hope of going home." I came up with a compromise.  
  
"Fine. Since you're so adamant about it, here. We can't exactly go up and say 'You know what, we have different names now!' So, we'll call ourselves Turan and Vinyaduriel in public. But in private, I'll call you Mina, you call me Katty. Is that good enough for you?" Okay, I would like nothing better than to be an Elf forever and a day. But apparently, Ainaelda didn't think so. "Ainaelda..." I stopped under her glare and corrected myself. "Sorry. Mina. At home, all we wanted was to be Elves, and BE Ainaelda and Vinyaduriel. Now that we're here and have that chance, all you can say is 'Oh, no, we have to stop!'" She looked a tad annoyed, to say the least.  
  
"Oh, so you'd rather just forget about your mother and your LIFE?" I shrugged.  
  
"She'd do the same for me." Ainaelda sighed.  
  
"Okay, personally, I want to go home. But this works. Katty." I nodded mutely. We sat there in silence, looking around the room, taking in all that had happened in such a short time. I thought coming here was a blessing, a dream come true. Maybe even permanent. If it was, I sure as heck wouldn't be complaining. But even if Ainaelda didn't think so, I couldn't afford to fight with her. She was the only person in the world I could talk to about this. If she stopped talking to me, where would I be then? A lot more lonely, that's what.  
  
About an hour later, an Elf I didn't know came and said we had been invited to a feast, and that he would escort us to it. We grinned in anticipation. That feast before the Council, in honor of Frodo's recovery! Did we have good timing or what? The Elf gave us a disapproving look, though I didn't know why. We had every right to be here! We walked down, following our guide, almost writhing in ecstasy. We would, in a matter of moments, be meeting Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Gloin, Gandalf...HOW COOL IS THIS!!? We walked in the dining hall, trying not to gape and act like we did this every day, because as Elves, we would have. I mean, I guess we would have...I wouldn't know...It was spectacular! It was a total shame that they cut this scene out of the movie, because it was the BOMB! I couldn't even begin to describe it except for one word: HUGE!  
  
We took our seats just as, quite literally, a small commotion came in. The four hobbits ran in the room, talking and laughing loudly. They plopped themselves down kitter-corner from us and introduced themselves in jovial voices. As if I couldn't tell them their genealogy, likes and dislikes, exact height, etc. Katty Watson knew that stuff. Vinyaduriel wouldn't.  
  
"Hello, there! I'm Frodo, Frodo Baggins!" said he, filling his plate with the food that was in abundance. His shirt peeked open, and I saw a glimmer of gold. For that instant, cold fear drenched my spine, and I heard a voice in my head, frozen as winter: -Strangers draw close. All that is dear in jeopardy- Then, as quickly as it came, it was gone.  
  
"Peregrin Took at your service!" said Pippin, doing the same.  
  
"Samwise Gamgee!"  
  
"Meriadoc Brandybuck!" They each replied in turn. We nodded politely.  
  
"I'm Vinyaduriel, and this is Ainaelda, at your service and your family's. Well met, master hobbits!" Man, you have no idea how long I've waited to use the Middle Earth lingo. Well, I used it around Ainaelda to begin with, but it's not the same as using it in everyday life and not having mothers shield their children from you. I mean, that just hurts.  
  
Frodo looked at us funny about halfway through the feast, then spoke hesitantly.  
  
"Oh, I hope you don't find this offensive...you have some very, eh, interesting garments on...perhaps you would care to explain?" Our clothes! THAT'S what those Elves were all looking at us like we were a walking casualty! I hadn't payed much attention to my clothes, and I hoped to God that I wasn't wearing my powder pink flannel pajamas with the sleeping caps on them.  
  
I wasn't, to my relief. But what I WAS wearing was certain to cause notice among the peoples of Middle Earth, even without the flannel pajamas (which I wouldn't have been wearing anyway, because it was almost summer back at home). My homemade khaki capris, which came into existance when I got a tear in the lower parts of my khaki pants and had to do a little surgery. The hem was never replaced, so they were kinda frayed. Oh, who was I kidding? They were REALLY frayed. Heck, they might as well be called fringe, except that denotes fashion. Plus, my moccasins that I got as a birthday present and that I never take off because they are the most comfortable things in the world. Lastly, a purple halter top sewn with blue daisies that I usually wore to bed on warm nights. Except for the moccasins, this was what I wore as pajamas. No WONDER they were all looking at us strangely. Ainaelda wasn't dressed any more low key than I was, in track pants, a shirt she outgrew about two years ago, and sneakers. I thought quickly, looking for an excuse. It turns out that I didn't have to. Ainaelda had one already cooked up.  
  
"Oh, that, yeah. Well, you see, we haven't really been in civilization for years, so we had to make do with what we had and, well, this was what we had..." Another thing that I LOVE about Tolkien: stupid excuses like that fly a long way. If I said that to somebody on the street in any average town, the chances are, like, nil that they would actually buy that story. But here, anything goes. Frodo nodded, like this was a common, everyday occurance, and went back to his food. Sam, however, wasn't about to let us off the hook that easily.  
  
"I can't help but notice that you seem to be alone in the world, except for yourselves. What brought this about? I must say, I've never met an orphaned Elf before, much less two." Pippin smiled.  
  
"Don't listen to him, miss, he's never met any Elves before!" Sam looked affronted.  
  
"So what if I haven't? Still seems rare to a hobbit such as myself. Well?" All four hobbits and Gloin, with whom Frodo had been talking, looked at us curiously. This was obviously my cue. I drew from my experiences in the good old U.S. of A. Simple excuses are more easily swallowed than some elaborate story. So, I kept it simple.  
  
"We don't know. We never knew our parents; they might have abandoned us." Ainaelda nodded, like this was really what happened and she was used to explaining this.  
  
"That's tragic. Why would anyone abandon two beauties like yourselves?" harrumphed Gloin. I shrugged. Ooh. A dwarf thought I was pretty. Then again, that might not be such a compliment...  
  
A/N: Not much of a compliment indeed...but what happens when Vinya and Ainaelda finally meet their crushes? Nothing good, you can bet on it... 


	3. More Meetings

*Disclaimer* I own LotR! Oh wait, I'm lying...  
  
A/N: You've been warned...read on!  
  
Chapter 3-More meetings  
  
After dinner was over, we followed everyone into the Hall of Fire. Another absolutely beautiful room. It was so mysterious, and...and...ethereal. All the singing just added to the whole feeling. I was about to go tearing off to see Bilbo, but Ainaelda pulled me back by the strings of my halter. Then I was forced to perform the same courtesy when she spotted Aragorn by Elrond. That would not look good if she ran up to him, right in front of Arwen. But after talking to Bilbo and Frodo, he began to make a circuit around the room. Ainaelda was shaking in excitement when he finally came around to us. He had a mildly surprised look on his face.  
  
"Oh, guests to the house of Elrond! Pray, what are your names?" Since Ainaelda seemed to be incapable of speech, it was up to me to do the niceties.  
  
"Hello, sir, I'm Vinyaduriel, and this is Ainaelda, at your service." He nodded slowly, like I had just bombarded him with information, and he was trying to take it all in.  
  
"Well met, young ladies. My name is Aragorn, son of Arathorn."  
  
"Isildur's heir!" Ainaelda had finally gotten her voice back. He frowned at her. I could have told her that he didn't like to be reminded about that. Hell, she could have told herself.  
  
"Yes, indeed," he said shortly. Ainaelda's eyes widened, as she evidently realized that she had just said the wrong thing. She doesn't normally have a knack for doing that, but hey. Horomones.  
  
"Oh! I'm sorry! I know...I mean, I guess you don't like that, I'm sorry, I..." Then she realized she was babbling. She straightened and held her head up, looking as, I don't know, Arwen-y as possible. "I sincerely apologize if I have given offense, sir." Wow. Good going, Ainaelda.  
  
"You could not give it, lady." Well, that was very gallant of him. Then it was my turn to make a fool out of myself, and I did so. Admirably. It's always been one of my talents.  
  
"Sir-Aragorn-do you know when, where, Prince Legolas is?" Kill me for asking, but I had to know!!  
  
"The prince...Legolas? He is currently resting, but you may be able to see him tomorrow, around evening time. He will be kept occupied during the day, as will I."  
  
"Yeah, the Council for the Ring!" Ainaelda burst out. I stared at her, open mouthed and astonished. This was my conservative, close-mouthed best friend. In sixteen years of friendship, I have never known her to run her mouth off like that. How could she have been so scatter-brained?! We were just orphaned Elves; we wouldn't know about the One Ring! She apparently realized her mistake too late. She paled and then turned red from a combonation of embarrassment and the stares from the Ranger. Stupid, stupid, stupid!  
  
"How do you know about the Ring?" demanded Aragorn in a harsh voice. "How?" Ainaelda seemed lost for words. I couldn't blame her; that guy was SCARY when he was angry. I had to think of something, something Middle Earth-ish...  
  
"Rumors...I heard it whispered in hushed voices around the corridors. Even as a myth, it creates much fear in Rivendell." Whoa. Where did THAT come from? That was brilliant! I could not believe I had just made that up. Talk about performance under pressure! I tried not to look too shocked with myself, putting on a grave face, like it was all absolutely true. Ainaelda stared at me with frank incredulity, until she realized she should be doing the same. It seemed to placate him, though Aragorn looked extremely serious.  
  
"It does not do talk of it so openly. Are you aware of the One Ring's powers?" We both nodded in unison. Um, duh. "And of who seeks it, and the consequneces of its recapture?" Again, more nods. I had to resist the urge to divulge any more information. You know, Boromir's gonna die and try to take the Ring, don't look into Galadriel's eyes, etc. Aragorn sighed. "It is dangerous to know so much. For now, I will forstall the question as to how you have stumbled upon this information, and request of Elrond two more seats. You will join us at the Council. This is not a request, nor a thing of celebration. Myself, and perhaps the prince, since you seem eager to meet him, will come get you tomorrow when it is time. Do you understand the seriousness of this?" I put on my best serious face and nodded, and Ainaelda did the same. Aragorn sighed again. "Good. I will see you tomorrow." Then he walked away. Ainaelda was fully ready to tear after him, but I nearly choked her as I saw someone coming. A very tall, blonde, sexy-Elf someone. Legolas Greenleaf was coming down the hall.  
  
I nearly died, right then, right there. But unlike Ainaelda, I couldn't run. I was rooted to the spot, yes, rooted, like someone had strapped me down with titanium. I couldn't have moved if my life depended on it. Not that I wanted to, seeing as he was coming towards us. Music and chanting-Bilbo's, I recognized-drifted through from the Hall. Legolas gave a curious frown, like we were a particularly interesting exhibit in a museum.  
  
"Mae govannem! I saw you talking with Aragorn, and my curiousity was aroused. Do you know him, perchance?" I swallowed several times. SAY SOMETHING! my brain screamed. But I couldn't. My throat was way too dry, and if I opened my mouth, my heart-or something stupid-might just leap out. Ainaelda grinned and took a step closer, fluffing her hair away from her neck. Dude, WHAT WAS SHE DOING TRYING TO FLIRT WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE???  
  
"Actually, we just met him in the Hall. I noted your absence, though, and the excuse he gave was entirely unsatisfactory. But I'm glad you decided to show," she added, giving this seductive smile. Oh, I hate her, I hate her, I hate her with the fire of a thousand suns!!  
  
"You noted my absence...you are not from Mirkwood, are you? Your coloring does not seem right..." Ainaelda's eyes widened, but she managed to make it look innocent.  
  
"Mm, not me, but I have heard stories of your skills with the bow, your fair looks...why, it's almost legendary..." I hate her, I hate her, I hate her...  
  
"You flatter me, Lady..."  
  
"Ainaelda," she supplied. Then he turned to me, and focused those deep, intense eyes on me.  
  
"And I don't believe I caught your name." Instinct took over, and I answered with a retort.  
  
"I don't believe I threw it." He laughed at that. I made Legolas Greenleaf laugh...wow... "But since you -are- the -legendary- Prince Legolas, I'll make an exception. But only for you, of course. Vinyaduriel, at your service." There. I CAN FLIRT TOO, AINAELDA!  
  
"Well, since it is obvious Aragorn has forgotten his manners, it will be up to me to escort you to your rooms." Is this great, or what? I put on my best solemn face and accepted, disguising a laugh that escaped as a quick cough. "Now, where might you be staying?" Me and Ainaelda exchanged panicked glances. Hell, I didn't know...  
  
"Um..." said Ainaelda intelligently. Legolas shook his head.  
  
"No matter. I will ask someone who does know. It should not be hard to find someone who knows where two such fair visitors are staying." Heeheehee. He called me 'fair'. Fair, as in pretty, not fair as in judgmental. Wow. Kill me now, I'll die happy...  
  
When we reached our rooms, he stopped us before we walked in.  
  
"It would be, ehm, advisable if you would change into some more appropriate clothing. There should be some in the closet."  
  
"What's wrong with our clothes?" I asked stupidly. He grinned and gave us the old eyeball.  
  
"Absolutely nothing. Good night, ladies." And then he left. 


	4. Major Makeovers

*Disclaimer* I own nothing.  
  
A/N: If you're reading this far, you're very brave or very stupid. Either way, I love ya. Read on!  
  
Chapter 4- Major Make-overs  
  
As soon as the door shut, we started screaming again. I flopped down on the bed, grinning happily. Who knew that all these immortal characters would be so...human? I mean, Arwen was condescending and holier-than-thou, the hobbits argued and sang in terrible off-key voices, and, well, okay, Aragorn was more or less the legendary warrior, but Legolas, he was vulnerable to a little flirt now and then...   
  
I couldn't wait to meet Gandalf; did he worry about his hair, or something? What about Boromir? Or Gimli? This was a dream come true. Then I remembered what Legolas said, and looked around for a closet. I couldn't see one. I stood up and looked around. There was a slight corner. I looked around it, and found a small doorway, about the size of your average walk-in closet. I opened it, wondering if there were enough clothes for one person, let alone two. Especially two teenagers. Yeah, we were so typical teenagers. We wear at least two different outfits everyday, and I had a sinking feeling that we were going to have to cut back. That lasted until I opened the door.  
  
This wasn't a room; it was a completely separate HALLWAY! I was enchanted; these clothes were so pretty. They were all flowy and light, and there was every color imagineable in prominence, even some I had never seen before.  
  
"Suh-WEET!" I yelled again, purely on instinct. Ainaelda ran in, wondering what I was yelling about. Then she saw the 'closet' and became just as entranced as I was. How long we stood there, I don't know. Like I said, we are typical girls. Then, we looked at each other, and ran in, shrieking like two-year olds who had free run of the candy shop. We immediately laid claim to the outfits we fell in love with on sight, and tried on others for the pure joy of it. They were all so pretty and shiny...and there were so many of them...I had fallen into teenage girl heaven. Finally, we realized it was totally getting late, so we separated our favorites and fell into the bed. There was only one bed, but it was so huge it could have fit about five more of me and five more of her comfortably.  
  
The next morning, I was up with the sun. This was unusual; usually I try and lie in bed until sunset. But no, I was awake. Then I remembered: the storm. Rivendell. Legolas. Are Elves normally insomniacs? I had to admit, it was maybe the one thing I didn't know about them. Us. Ha! Anyway, I got up and ran eagerly to the closet and went to my pile of the clothes and tried to decide which to put on. By the time Ainaelda had woken up, I was deliberating between two: one was this flowy blue thing; the other was white and silver. They were both so pretty, prettier than anything I had ever seen before. I turned to my half-comotose friend.  
  
"Ainaelda, white or blue?" I asked, brandishing the dresses at her. She blinked owlishly, trying to stay conscious. "Well?" I demanded. She shrugged. This was odd too; neither of us were morning people, but she was usually better about it than I was. Well, what can ya do?  
  
"White," she mumbled. I nodded.  
  
"Thanks," I said, and tossed the white one aside. Ainaelda was a great help when it came to this sort of stuff. I was halfway into the blue one when Ainaelda obviously remembered what had happened. She sat bolt upright, like she had accidently lay down on her hairbrush again.  
  
"Vinya--Katty--why didn't you wake me up? The first person up always wakes the other one up!" I shrugged. The thought of a hairbrush had led me into a search for one.  
  
"Hey, I figured what we went through merited sleeping in. I'm sorry; I'll wake you up next time. Have you seen a hairbrush? Ah, never mind. I found one!" I stood in front of the mirror, tugging the brush gently through my rapidly growing, rapidly bleaching, rapidly straightening hair. When I finally felt satisfied that it was as well brushed as it was possible for hair to be, it cascaded down my back and shone like liquid gold. Ooh. I like that phraseology. Liquid gold. Yeah.   
  
I felt like a cheerleader; you know, the cult that you can only get into if you look like a supermodel.  
  
I mean, for once in my life, my hair was perfect, my iffy complexion was now perfect, my Elven body was perfect, and my LOVELY POINTY EARS were, of course, absolutely PERFECT. Now I knew why they could walk with such perfect confidence. Looking like this, you just can't help it. Now I could trump them all. In fact, the whole clique would be counted as ugly in Rivendell. If only they could see me like this! But then again, they'd probably be even prettier, and then they'd go around seducing Legolas and every other male they saw and rubbing it in my face.  
  
Actually, now that I think about it, it's not that much different than what they already do on a day-to-day basis...  
  
Ainaelda's appearance had changed dramatically overnight as well. Now, her hair was almost completely red, with heavy streaks of brown, making it aubrun instead of a hishy-hashy helluva mess. Instead of the frizzy half-curls I was used to since birth, they were now glossy ringlets hanging, like mine, down to her waist. They were the kind of curls that, when you were little, you wanted to pull out straight and watch them sproing back into shape when you let go. Her eyes had blossomed into a light jade green. We looked so different, yet exactly the same. They were major changes, made overnight, yet I felt like they had always been this way.   
  
I sighed and stopped my instinctive search for my cosmetics. A) I didn't need them anymore, and B) They wouldn't have any Mary Kay Eye-cicles liquid eyeshadow here anyway. Ainaelda had hauled herself out of bed and found herself in the same predicament I had been in: which dress should she wear? She narrowed it down to three; a dark purple one that was almost black, an orangey one that amazingly didn't make the wearer look like a pumpkin, and a teal one.  
  
"Hey, Katty, which one?" I looked at them critically.  
  
"Orange." She tossed it into the closet, then held up the last two to herself and looked in the mirror. Finally, she turned back to me.  
  
"Now which?" I looked at her again, trying to figure out which went with her coloring.  
  
"Purple." She tossed that one aside as well, then put on the teal. We both had approximately the same fashion sense and reliance on one another.  
  
"Thanks." I grinned and flopped down on the bed.  
  
"Oh, Mina, where would we be without each other's impeccably horrible taste in clothes?"  
  
"Hm, probably wandering around with orange leather pants and purple rayon tube tops. I feel so...so...Mary Sue-ish!"  
  
A/N: Right, couldn't resist. Sorry it took so long to update! HAPPY HALLOWE'EN! 


	5. Rivendell

*Disclaimer* I own nothing. ::sobs::  
  
A/N: What more can I say? Council's in the next chapter, and they completely mess that up, of course, because every other character does. But I put my own twist on it. Yay. Read on!  
  
Chapter 5-Rivendell  
  
Once Ainaelda had primped and deemed herself perfect, we walked outside. I eyed her dress. It had a pretty low neckline, seemed to me. Back home, Ainaelda couldn't have pulled the look off, but now...if she thought she was going to flirt with Legolas again, she was so sadly mistaken...but, like the good little friend that I am, I didn't say a word. But I think she knew I disapproved anyway, because we've known each other too long.  
  
The halls were disappointingly empty. We had originally intended to go to breakfast, but the plan got terminated when we got lost. Besides, the air was so enchanted, I don't understand why anyone would ever need to eat. No WONDER Elves are such miracle workers; you can't help but feel good here. We wandered around the gardens, discussing what had happened in low voices (all we needed was for someone to ask us where America was) and marveling at everything. It was one thing to see it in the movie; it was another to go into the whole thing, the parts undocumented by the movie. It was AWESOME.  
  
We had been outside for about an hour when we found a secluded little courtyard. It was a pretty spot; hedged by brightly blooming flowers, paved with fancifully shaped paving stones that fit together like some fantastic puzzle. There was one bench, where we sat down and talked some more, in louder voices, since it was obvious that no one was around.  
  
"Katty, did you really mean it when you said that you never wanted to go home?" asked Ainaelda quietly. I chewed my lower lip, thinking hard. Finally, I spoke slowly.  
  
"Well, sort of. I mean, I'm here in the land of my dreams. I don't know. My mom won't miss me. I don't think she'd even tell my dad. Do you think we're even gone there? What if, when we got sucked into Hobbit-land, we ceased to exist in our world? Or, our parents could think we're kidnapped. Do you still remember your life from America?" I asked anxiously, thinking my idea about ceasing to exist might have hit a little too close to home. Now I sorta regretted reading all those books.  
  
"Of course. I even remember your fifth birthday, when you cried because Ricky Cadeski made fun of your headgear." I cringed at that particular memory. My teeth were so screwed up when I was little that I had to wear this really embarrassing head gear until I was seven, and I got it put on the day before my fifth birthday. Ricky Cadeski was my friend, but then he laughed his head off when he first saw me with my oh-so-attractive new style. I cried for about five minutes, then ran him down, socked him in the face, and broke his nose. See? I was BORN for the life of Tolkein. Moving on.  
  
"Good. Then we can assume, since our memories are still intact, that we are simply missing in our home, and not that we have merely dissentegrated." A voice spoke up behind us then, causing us to stiffen with unexpected shock.  
  
"Missing? Dissentegrated? I thought you two were abandoned." Okay. How the hell did Aragorn get here, and why doesn't that man make NOISE when he moves? I mean, normal people at least make some sort of noise when they walk on dry grass and fallen leaves, but NO. Not our blessed RANGER. I thought quickly. Middle Earth, Middle Earth...where was the flash of inspiration?! But hey...how did he know our 'history', as it were? Of course, he had talked to Frodo.  
  
"We, uh, we were. Forgive us, sir, if we kept the whole truth from you. It was as you say, we were abandoned, but it is also not the entire truth." Here it was. Flash of brilliance, right on schedule! Where to now? I started off again hesitantly, trying to look like I was merely reluctant to talk about this to an almost-stranger and not grappling for a plausable story. "You see, well, we knew our parents, first off. I grew up in, uh, outside Mirkwood. My mother was kind of a hermit, didn't want to associate. Yeah. Well, how do I say this? Uh, Ainaelda, your turn." I said rapidly. Apparently these flashes of brilliance were just that: flashes. Mine was gone like the wind. Ainaelda glared at me quickly, then hastened on, aware of Aragorn's expectant and frankly quite unnerving stare. What DID she see in that man?  
  
"I lived in the area around Lothlorién. I lived with both my parents, but they sorta doted on my older sister. She was everything they hoped for: tall, queenly, graceful, the whole package. Me? Hey, I was this skinny little girl who only wanted to fool around with bows and knives." I marveled at how she drew on her real life experiences to make this sound more believeable. I recognized the cue and took up the tale, making it just soppy enough.  
  
"Well, my mother just told me to go hunt, since that seemed to be all I was good for anyway. When I came back, our house was empty and stripped bare. She would have taken the door if I hadn't put those hinges on securely. I don't know how long I huddled in our barren little shack, eating the game I had caught that morning. When it ran out, I realized that I had to leave. So I did, and I only had my bow and a quiver and the clothes I was wearing. I trekked across country for years, and then I met up with Ainaelda. So we've been traveling together ever since."   
  
Wow. I should have seriously started writing novels, or something. I never realized that I had such a...potent...imagination when it came to this sort of thing. Sure, I could always make up brilliantly believable lies for my parents, but I was pretty shallow, and never tried to pursue anything deeper than writing notes to Ainaelda in Sinadrin. Well, I mean, hey. It was pretty awesome to see the teacher's or cheerleader's face if the notes got intercepted. If I ever got home, I secretly promised myself, I would be a published author as soon as I could wind a book out.   
  
I looked up, hoping that Aragorn believed us, though we gave no reason to disbelieve our stories. To my everlasting shock, he had tears in his eyes. Sweet. I moved someone to tears with my lies, and for once it wasn't because they found me out. Ainaelda looked just as stunned as I was, also noticing. This revealed more of Aragorn's somewhat mysterious nature. He could still cry, and no one would laugh at him and start calling him a wuss. Well, that might actually have something to do with that sword and its sharp pointy tip around his waist, ready to be drawn at a minute's notice. Abruptly, he wiped his eyes quickly, trying to hide the action. Men. What was he going to say, he just had allergies?  
  
"Well, um, that is a very, uh, harrowing tale, young maids. Now then, ah, it is time for the Council. Follow me." Right on cue, a warning bell rang out. We grinned at each other behind his back. Here it was, the most pivotal point in the film! And we would be there! I wanted to see Elrond up close and personal. I wanted to see all the other important personages that would be there. I wanted to see the rest of Rivendell. I wanted to be included in something earth-shatteringly important. I...I wanted to see the One Ring.  
  
A/N: Yeah, I bet she does...but does the Ring want to see her? 


	6. Council, but Which One?

*Disclaimer* If I owned Tolkein, I would NOT be here. But I don't. So I'm here, a little wannabe.  
  
A/N: Council. Yay? Read on!  
  
Chatper 6- The Council...but Which One?  
  
Unfortunately, Aragorn saw no need to rush things. I mean, come ON. Mordor and Isengard was practically breathing down their necks, yet he took a leisurely stroll through the garden as if he had all eternity. HELLO?! He's a Man, not an Elf, he's got about forty or fifty years, give or take, and he kicks the bucket. You'd think that would call for power-walking, at the very least.  
  
But, apparently it did not. About ten minutes later, we finally got to the little rotunda where the momentous event took place. I quivered all over with anticipation. This was it! This was IT! We took our seats around the circle. My first impression of Elrond was this: disagreeable. He frowned at us like fury, like it was sacreligious to have to teenage girls sitting in at his council. Wait a minute. If I really think about what I just said...  
  
Well, anyway. I looked around, and caught sight of familiar faces. Well, they were familiar to me; they themselves wouldn't know me from a hole in the ground. Pippin winked at me from his hiding spot; Frodo was too busy looking nervous to notice his friends sporadically hidden among the plethora of shrubs. Isn't plethora a cool word? It was a vocabulary word of mine, and it just sounds fun. But I digress. I finally caught sight of Gandalf. My first impression: tall. He looks sort of diminished in the movie; in real life, he was just a smidge shorter than Legolas. On closer inspection, his staff didn't look like it was simply naturally knarled and warped. Maybe it was simply because it was used for magical purposes, but it looked too perfect to be natural, maybe carved. But it was still magnificent, and awe-inspiring. It was magical, and magic always intrigued me.   
  
Yeah, I was a Harry Potter freak on the side, though never as deep as Lord of the Rings. I wanted to see him at work; that would rock. I tried not to stare at the dwarves too much, but they fascinated me as well. Obviously, I had never seen their like before. I stared the most at Gimli, which, given his disposition to Elves, probably wasn't the cleverest move I could have made. He glared bloody murder at me, and I quickly looked away. It was too bad that I was so conspicuous. Everyone else was wearing dark, earthy tones, and in waltz two teenagers in sapphire blue and teal. Curse these stupid Elven looks! Wow. How often do you think I'll ever have to say that?  
  
Elrond started the Council. The dialogue was mostly movie, but Bilbo was there, so it was somewhat book based as well, and all in all, completely confusing. He gave his 'Strangers from different lands' spiel, then they jabbered about Legolas losing Gollum and Balin retreating to Moria, yadda yadda yadda, get to the good part...  
  
"Bring forth the Ring. Frodo." Then, there it was. The One Ring. As in, One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, etc. It looked so plain and innocent, like my mom's engagement ring. Well, there was something else they had in common: neither ring really did much for their owners.  
  
But at the same time, you knew there was something different about this ring. Nothing about its appearance tipped you off, you just had this feeling. And, occaisionally, a voice in your head. When I laid eyes on the Ring again, I heard the cold voice again. It was, it could only be, Sauron. -You again.- It seemed to breathe. -Do not think yourself safe from the seduction- Freaky. Of course, it spoke in the tongue of Mordor, but I could understand perfectly. It's one of the perks of really doing your research before getting sucked into another universe. And believe me, I need all the advantages I can get. Seduction, did it say? The only seduction I wanted was, well, let's not go there, shall we?  
  
Unfortunately, it was very long and very boring, since I've seen and/or read it too many times to care. For lack of anything better to do, Ainaelda and I started to mouth along the words, each of us taking a different side of the conversation.. Then the expressions came, just as habit. Suddenly, I was aware of the un-book/movie-like silence. Oops. They were all staring at us!  
  
Oh, shit. And they were not staring at us with something you could call amusement or like. Elrond nailed us with one hell of an evil glare, Boromir looked at us with frank astonishment, several dwarves looked like all their suspicions were confirmed, and only Legolas looked amused, but even then it was spattered with puzzlement. I put on my best innocent face, the 'oh, no, Mom, I'm not holding my little brother hostage in my closet' sort of face. Ainaelda did her most disarming grin, the one that charms everyone and ruthlessly slaughters opposition. It fell like a stone.   
  
Elrond didn't say anything, and I wasn't sure which one I wanted more: for him to chew us out and at least confirm the extent of his rage, or for him to just stay silent and leave me in suspense. He continued on where he stopped, still fixing us with the evil eye. Talk about multi-tasking! It must take effort, looking that evil and talking about how to save the world from impending destruction at the same time. The second he looked away, we did what all teenagers do in the face of opposition: at the same time, we both stuck our tongues out.  
  
This actually generated some mirth among the ranks of the Convention of People Looking Grim. There were some disperesed snorts of laughter, a few bass giggles from the dwarves. It is TOO weird to hear those short hairy guys GIGGLE, of all things. Elrond looked back, evil eye in place once more, but we were all innocence. Then, it was too much for Ainaelda. She gave a snorting little giggle, unable to restrain it anymore. Listening to her broke down my defenses, and I started giggling as well. Finally, Elrond spoke. I immediately got myself under control, and elbowed Ainaelda to do the same.  
  
"Young maids, if you cannot bring yourselves to keep proper decorum during this meeting, I will have to ask you to leave. This is no joking matter." I sobered and tried to formulate a suitable answer.  
  
"I apologize, Lord Elrond. Please, continue. You have my word of our good behavior." I could tell he wanted to say where I could stick my word, but he nodded, nowhere near satisfied. But he continued on anyway. I could still quote it word for word, but I tried to control myself. I mean, this was just one thing you couldn't miss. Finally, finally, finally, at long last, he got to the point. Gimli stupidly shattered his axe, and the big question was popped: Who will take the Ring? They all started arguing, while we sat there like idiots, watching the verbal battles rage on and on. Hey, it's not like WE had anything intelligent to add to all this. Then, Frodo stood, right on cue.  
  
"I will take the Ring!" No one paid a lick of attention. Then, seeing he wasn't noticed, he said it again, louder, with more force. But not much. "I will take it! Though...I do not know the way..." Everyone grew quiet, right on schedule, and Gandalf got that serious look on his face. Then, Gandalf joined. Then Aragorn, who swore his sword. Legolas swore his bow, winking at us as he stood. Then Gimli. Finally, Boromir made an excuse to join just because everyone else was. At least, that was the logic I always used; Aragorn beat him to swearing his sword. I laughed at everyone's shocked expressions when Sam came out of hiding. Elrond stood.  
  
"The Company of the Ring shall be nine; and the Nine Walkers shall be set against the Nine Riders that are evil. There remain two more to be found. These I will consider--"  
  
"Wait!" Ainaelda. What was up with her? She seemed so... un-Ainaelda-like these days. I elbowed her. She didn't notice. "Can we be the other two people?" Merry and Pippin popped out of the shrubbery.  
  
"Oy! We were going to be the last two people!"  
  
"What are you doing?" I hissed. "We can't do this! We could cause it to fail! THINK!" If she heard me, she gave no indication. She dragged me up, and we stood, looking like prize-winning morons.  
  
"We want to go, too. We could seriously help you guys." Oh, what a rousing speech, Ainaelda. Yup, that would sure convince me to let us go on the quest. Elrond frowned, and then the stupidest thought surfaced in my mind: Elrond's color is definetly not that crimson-purple. Why did I think of that? I don't know. But I did. He needed brown, or some sort of earthy color, but not crimson. Tolkein obviously didn't have the least bit of fashion sense. HE was probably the one walking around in orange leather pants and purple rayon tube tops. Sort of. Well, forget I even said that, shall we?  
  
Anyway, Elrond was all ready to shoot us down to the ground. Hey, I'd like nothing better than to accompany the Fellowship. But didn't Ainaelda think this might present a WEE bit of a problem? We might mess it up; you know, push Frodo off the bridge, kill Boromir before his time, maybe, uh, get KILLED? Then, Boromir spoke up, an open sneer on his face.  
  
"This is folly," he snapped, his voice coldly elegant. "These two...girls...are not fit to accompany a hunting party, let alone a quest of this magnitude. Lord Elrond, do not tell me you are buying into this...this...this stupidity!" Ouch. That hurt. Before I could say anything in my defense, Gimli had to open his big stupid mouth. So much for the dwarves laughing at our antics.  
  
"I second it, Lord Elrond. They mock what we find to be of great importance; who's to say they won't foul up our quest? Women are no fighters, and girls are even less. It is insane!" Well, I never had a large fan club to begin with, but really. This is degrading! A lesser person might have their self-esteem affected by this. Elrond looked relieved that someone had protested.  
  
"It has been suggested and seconded, and I must agree. Mere girls have no place in quests of this importance." Man, talk about shot down! Legolas spoke up, and my heart just dropped. He couldn't have anything helpful to add. He didn't know that we could use a bow, nor did he know anything about us.  
  
"Lord Elrond, allow me to speak on these young ladies' behalf." Hey, that didn't sound too bad! Could there be a light at the end of the tunnel? "Young they are, no denying that, but I think they could prove themselves extremely able, should the occaision arise. They seem to have no end of spirit, bravery, and ingenuity. I think that they could prove a valuble asset to the Fellowship."   
  
There. Wow. How could ANYONE argue with that? I personally was swayed over, plus a little gratified. Now said fan club could move out of the phone booth and into that lovely hall closet I was looking at. Elrond sighed and stood, forcing me to crane my neck up for the umpteenth time. Dang, why does Tolkein have to make all his characters so tall? I wasn't really all that tall to begin with, and I'll be out after his blood if I have neck problems when I'm eighty. That is, if I live to be eighty.  
  
"You have an emotionally involved argument, Prince Legolas, that is altogether touching." Well, that sounded promising. Perhaps we had a chance...? "However, I feel that personal feelings might be getting in the way." Oh no. Oh no. That did NOT sound promising. "I truly hate to mention this, but perhaps there is a reason closer to home that prompts you to ask them along?" Man, Elrond was a pervert! He thought that Legolas wanted us along because he wanted to...wanted to...I mean, EEEWWW! Legolas looked doubly embarrassed, because hey, everyone else was sniggering. Not giggling. Sniggering. It was a pretty evil sound. I knew I was blushing like fury. Ainaelda was too, and I hope she had realized her mistake. Elrond sighed and shook his head. "No. I have made my decision. The girls are free to enjoy the hospitality of Rivendell as long as they please, but I forbid them to join the Fellowship. The hobbits do not know the dangers they are entering into."  
  
"Is that your final answer?" muttered Ainaelda. Nope. Hadn't realized her mistake. I just glared. SHE had gotten us into this situation, SHE had dragged me into this, and she still had it in her to make smart remarks. I elbowed her sharply in the ribs, earning a wince. Good. Let her feel pain.  
  
"I believe it was, Regis Philbin. Just let it drop, okay?" She whirled around at me.  
  
"'Let it drop?' Ex-ca-yuse me? Did I just hear you say that? I know I didn't, Rion Watson! Will you just quit with the two-faced PMS attitude? 'Oh, Ainaelda, this is a dream come true, it's what we've always wanted!' Remember that? So what's the deal? 'Ainaelda, have you gone crazy, we can't do that!'" I saw red. I was so NOT on the high wire from PMS.  
  
"Okay, so you'd rather get killed and risk putting the Fellowship in jeopardy?!" She got up in my face and didn't look like she was going to back down anytime soon.  
  
"Two things, Goldilocks. One, since when do you use the word 'jeopardy'? Since you're in Rivendell, you're suddenly some literary genius? Up until a few days ago, you didn't use any words bigger than 'wazzup'!" Ouch. That hit too close to home.  
  
"Are you calling me shallow?" I said, but she completely rode over me. I'm not shallow, I'm as deep as the freaking ocean!! Really!  
  
"Number two, what exactly did you want to do when you said that we should stay, lounge around Rivendell painting our toenails? I ASSUMED you wanted to go along. Sue me for breathing, why doncha? Will you just stop going schizo on me and tell me what you want?" I got in her face, then, mad as all get out. Who was she calling schizo?  
  
"I'll tell you what I want: I want you to get out of my face and over yourself!" It totally would have escalated into this huge girl fight then and there; we were almost touching noses, red in the face and angry as hell. Then Elrond, whom we had all forgotten about up until that point, strode over and separated us. That was the last straw. We leapt for each other.  
  
A/N: So much for being best friends... Hope I can throw a few surprises your way. It's cliche, but I add my own flair every now and then. 


	7. Note from the Author

Note From the Author:  
  
This story will eventually be continued, but not in the near future. I can't find time to write, so until further notice, all works will be put on hold.  
  
Sorry for the inconvience to my loyal fans. Hang in there, I will continue the story. Expect the next chapter in a month or so; I'll notify again if it's going to take longer.  
  
Yours,  
  
Storm 


	8. Why Is This Place So Big?

A/N: *phew* Sorry this took so long to update. More of the madness; read on!  
  
Chapter 8-Why is This Place So Big?  
  
We were both in Tae Kwon Do, but neither of us did very well in it. I was a yellow belt in the barest sense of the term, and Ainaelda was just a little bit higher. Nevertheless, we both flew out, and within seconds we were exchanging clumsy blows and pulling at hair. We had successfully turned the Council into an all out WWF smackdown a la Stone Cold. I wasn't trying to get points for style, I was just in a blind fury and trying to inflict pain on my best friend since birth.  
  
Suddenly, strong arms linked into mine and pulled me away. I didn't see nor care who it was; I only knew that I had to get at Ainaelda, to hit her, to punch her, to...  
  
I was punching at air. Aragorn had pulled me away, and Ainaelda was simalarly situated with Legolas. Her oh-so-perfect Elven hair was mussed out to the great wazoo, there was a shockingly dark bruise on her cheek bone, and her dress was ripped beyond repair. I didn't feel a single twinge of remorse or pity at all. I just strained uselessly against the Ranger's grip, and I felt stupid to notice that it was like pushing against a redwood; he wouldn't have budged if I got a crowbar under him and pushed for a year. She was trying to get at me too, straining so much I thought she was going to come out of that dress, but Legolas was no wimp. Elrond stood in between us and planted himself their, legs akimbo.  
  
"ENOUGH!" he roared. Any other time I would have trembled. I would have cringed, and been afraid. But this was not any other time. This was now. I just glared at him, like he was my cousin Trudy when she was in her holier-than-thou mood. "How dare you! Take your petty squabbles outside, for this is neither the time nor the place for it!" Oh please.  
  
"Listen up and listen hard, Halfelven. You've got no freaking idea what we are going through, so I think I'LL decide the time and place for our 'petty squabbles', thanks." He looked like he could have killed me then and there, but Ainaelda got to it first.  
  
"Oh, so you think YOU'VE got the right to decide things now? You can't even decide when to have your birthday party, let alone when we can go at each other! Just as sson as he let's you go, I'll kick your ass!" I'll show HER kicking. I'll kick her from here to Cincinatti. And yes, I meant that literally. Legolas shook her roughly. She turned to him and lashed out at him, too. "Hey, lay off, blondie. Just because you can shoot a freaking arrow from a freaking bow doesn't mean you can shake me like a bobble head, so let me go. LET ME GO!" She squirmed like a fish, but he had a firm grip on her. Another random thought floated to my mind, just like the whole Elrond/purple thing. I remembered, faintly, the movie Miss Congeniality with Sandra Bullock, towards the end. "Just remember to SING..."   
  
SING. I moved suddenly, trying to whack Aragorn in the chest. I took him by surprise, but that didn't necessarily mean I got free. He certainly got his wind knocked out, and for one shining moment, I thought I might be free...but then the moment passed, and he gripped me harder then before. Frustrated beyond belief, I tried again, this time for a more serious spot, the G in the acronym SING. But he was ready for me this time, and I got nowhere. Ainaelda tried to throw Legolas over her hip in a classic kick-boxing move, but he, like Aragorn, wasn't about to be thrown by a sixteen year old girl. So, completely humiliated, they dragged us out of the little rotunda. I started to get in a blind panic mode. I couldn't escape; there was no way to break free. What if I was ever in this situation again, with people a little less friendly than Strider? I kicked out, panicky.  
  
"Let me go, please, put me down, right now!" I noticed, in the one sane corner of my mind, that Legolas was taking Ainaelda in another direction, presumably so we didn't jump each other again. But I really didn't care about Ainaelda at the moment. I was trapped, good and trapped. "Put me down! Put me down now! Let me go, please, just let me go!" Suddenly, he did, dropping me on the ground. I scrambled up to my feet and threw a punch at him, most likely the last thing he expected me to do. It hit him squarely on the temple. He caught my fist as I tried to repeat the manuver and twisted my arm behind my back. Did I ever mention that's a very painful position? Yeah. Some trip this turned out to be.  
  
"Lady Vinyaduriel, I would not suggest doing that again." His tone was mild, but painful, like his teeth hurt to talk in a civil tone of voice. Almost like his line "Are you frightened? Not nearly frightned enough!" That sort of tone.  
  
"Let. Me. Go." I said, trying to grit my teeth through the pain and talk at the same time. Finally, I gave up, and a little whimper escaped. How stupid can I get? At least I wasn't in infantile sobs. To my surprise, he obeyed, though he seemed wary about another attack. There was no danger from me, though; I was beat. It was right then that I realized what a mess I looked. My dress was ripped as much as Tura's was, it felt like I had a black eye, and there were several bruises and scrapes where fingers and nails had come into contact with my arms. I didn't even want to know what my hair looked like; it felt like patches were missing. "Man, I look like someone just ran a car over me." I muttered. Aragorn looked confused.  
  
"What?" Oh. Duh. He wouldn't know what a car was. I improvised.  
  
"I said, I look like someone...uh...dropped me down a mine." Well, I didn't say it was a good improvisation. He laughed and took me by my upper arms.  
  
"You could never look horrible, Lady," he said. Well, evidently he had never seen me before I did my morning blow dry. I squirmed uncomfortably, but he refused to let me go.  
  
"Lady, is aught amiss?"  
  
"Nope, everything's great, I just have to...you know..." Dang, where did he get such a good grip? This was pathetic.  
  
So I kicked him in the shin. I shouldn't be abusing him like this, but he's starting to scare me. Plus, he kept exerting his (quite painful grip) on some very bruised parts of my upper arms. So, this time he got the hint and let go. Then, irrationally, I started running for all I was worth. I could hear him calling me, but I didn't give a damn. I kept on going, before realizing I was completely and totally lost!  
  
A/N: And things don't get better from there... 


	9. Betrayal of The Worst Sort

A/N: Here we go, the momentous chapter 9! Okay, maybe not, but it's all about image, here. Read on!  
  
Chapter 9-Betrayal of the Worst Sort  
  
I wandered around, sniffing forlornly, the picture of a pitiful damsel in distress. Very pitiful, because I cannot cry and look pretty. My face gets all puffy and red, and my eyes go all nutty...I had no earthly clue where the heck I was. Nothing looked remotely familiar, no landmarks I could identify to help me find my way anywhere. Why do they always have to make these places so freaking huge? After meandering around for about ten minutes or so, I heard voices around the corner. This was welcome, as I hadn't seen another living being since high-tailing it away from Aragorn. I poked my head around, hoping to ask for directions. When I saw who was coming, I quickly changed my mind.  
  
It was Ainaelda and Legolas. I dodged behind the nearest leafy shrub, because being seen by them was higher on my 'Things Not to Do' list than shoving a red hot iron rod into my chest. They walked over a bridge, and realization struck me so hard I almost fell out of my somewhat pathetic hiding spot. This wasn't just 'a bridge'. This was the Aragorn/Arwen love scene. Maybe I could find my way back. Ainaelda, surprise to end all surprises, was complaining.  
  
"...doesn't get it. We totally need to go with you guys, because we could help. Does she understand? Of COURSE not! She's got such tunnel vision, and she doesn't realize what's right in her face. Which is why I gotta get up in it to tell her. She's so hard headed! And she's so stupid!" I opened my mouth in wounded dignity and anger. I do NOT have tunnel vision and I am NOT stupid! Am I...? They stopped halfway over the bridge, the exact same spot that Arwen and Aragorn stood. Except that instead of one dark-haired Elf-maiden and a tall dark Ranger, it was an auburn teenager and a blond hottie. Legolas looked grave.  
  
"One should not speak so of her friends. Particularly after you have been through so much together. I would suggest that you make peace with her, and soon. I only say this because of pain from personal experience. Keep your friends, Lady Ainaelda."  
  
"Just Ainaelda," she spoke up, looking down at the ground, red with shame, "Please, just call me Ainaelda." Then, to my utmost surprise, she started crying. Why the hell was SHE crying? Did she agree with him and want me and my friendship back? Well, too bad for her! She wanted it so bad, she shouldn't have practiced her right hook on my eye. Oh, who was I kidding? I wanted her back too! Legolas wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and she sobbed unashamedly into his shirt. Why did SHE get to have his arms around her? Not fair at all! Then, I felt a little niggling sense of foreboding. "Oh, I've been so idiotic! I was just, I don't know, on some mental high from being at the Council. Oh, what have I done?" He shushed her gently.  
  
"It's all right, La- Ainaelda. It will be all right." She shook her head, still buried in his shirt.  
  
"It won't. She hates me, and all...and now you're being so nice to me..." He laughed. It was such a rich sound. Is it possible for someone to be that heart-meltingly handsome when he's laughing?  
  
"Not nice. Grateful. Admiring. You're getting my shirt wet." She gave a wet little laugh that didn't convince me at all.  
  
"Sorry." She pulled away and hastily wiped her eyes. The little niggling feeling in the back of my head grew. Even though I had never felt this before, I was pretty sure I knew what it meant, too. This could only end in tears.  
  
I was right. Curse it and damn it all, I was all too right. Legolas pulled her close to him again, and the split second before it happened, I knew what was going to happen. He kissed her. WHY THE HECK WAS HE KISSING HER? WHY?? The irony in this whole situation would have dumbfounded me if I hadn't felt like strangling someone just then.  
  
This is why we're friends: Ainaelda mimicked my move and kicked him in the shin. But he, unlike Aragorn, caught her before she had a chance to copy me further and run off, and held her tight by the arms. She never stopped moving, trying to get free.  
  
"Ainaelda, please-" I didn't want him to over power her, even if I had been fantasizing about pushing her off the Bridge of Khazadum a few seconds earlier. I ran up from behind and grabbed him around the neck, yanking him off balance.  
  
Something I've learned: if someone's trying to kiss your best friend, chances are he's not paying attention to you hiding in the bushes behind him. Another thing: if you jump on him from behind, you can easily take him by surprise. And because he's not expecting it, he usually falls over on top of you. This was NOT what I had in mind when I pictured Legolas's and my "big moment", but when the situation calls... Screw that, he was trying to take advantage of my best friend! I tried to stop him from standing with me still attatched, yelling while I did:  
  
"Ainaelda! Ainaelda, RUN!" Of course she didn't run. What else would she do but YELL at me?  
  
"I don't need you fighting my battles for me, Vinya! I'm a big girl now, okay?" I sighed, exasperated, and this close to letting him have at her.  
  
"Look, do you want me to let him go or not? You got five seconds starting four seconds ago!" All she did was glare like fury at me. "I'll take that as a yes." So, with a shrug, I got him out of the headlock I had been half-strangling him with. He sprang up like a jack-in-the-box, unsure which one of us to jump for. Ainaelda made up his mind for him by throwing another punch at him. He caught her wrist, but I just watched. Hey, I'd given her a chance. How many more did she want? I could only bear it, though, for a few more seconds. Second chances are always deserved by everybody, right?  
  
I leapt for him again, but he wasn't so easily caught this time. He turned when I was in mid-air and pushed me away. I fell, heavily winded, off the bridge and into the little trickling creek below, trying to sit up in the water that would probably come up to my shin if I was standing. Ainaelda had finally taken the hint and left, and I was out for the count.  
  
"Are you going to hurt me or not?" I asked, too winded to say anything more intelligent. Instead, he just climbed over and offered me his hand.  
  
"By all rights, I should, Lady. But I won't, for you were merely defending the honor of your friend. Though I assure you, her honor was in no danger. I was acting out of turn, it is true, so I accept myself as duly punished. May I help you up?" I shrugged.  
  
"Well, I'm not adding to the decor just lying here." With a gentle, yet firm and strong tug, he pulled me up. I'm not kidding. I didn't do any work; he lifted me on his own. Then, when he let go, I tried to climb out, stepped on a mossy stone, and went right back into the creek, face first. "Dammit!" I screamed, spitting out water. Could this possibly get any worse? I'm soaking wet, bruised, miserable, all in front of Legolas. He helped me up, but this time he made sure I was out of the ditch before letting go. "Well, uh, thanks." He nodded. There was a brief silence, while a large puddle formed under me, and then, "Uh, I'm a little lost...where's my room? Can you give me directions, or something?" I think I took too many blows to the head, there. I was starting to sound like Katty of the 21st century, not Vinyaduriel of Middle Earth. He laughed again. Digging on my best friend or not, he was still the hottest guy I've ever seen, and laughing just made it better.  
  
"Of course! It's not everyday I'm taken by surprise by a slip of a girl like you!" That rang a little too true in my mind. He must have known I was there; I was an Elf, but so was he.  
  
"You knew I was there," I said, voice accusatory. He shrugged.  
  
"I knew someone was there, but I had, ah, other things on my mind. I didn't know it was you, and I certainly didn't think an attack would ensue. Follow me." I hoped Ainaelda could find her way back. Maybe pretty-boy Aragorn could show her. I followed him. After another brief silence, he broke it again.  
  
"I couldn't help but notice that the Lady Ainealda called you a last name during your small row. Watson? Was that it? Ah, yes, Vinya Watson. That doesn't sound like any Elvish name I'm familiar with." Crap. Ainaelda just had to point that out. I tried to act nonchalant about it.  
  
"It isn't," I said matter-of-factly, "We just made up names for ourselves, just little private things for ourselves, because, you know we hated our parents. Vinyaduriel Watson. That's mine," I added stupidly. Hasn't he already proved that he wasn't no dummy?  
  
"Would it be awful for me to enquire what the Lady Ainaelda's is?" I bated with the idea, then decided, hey, why not?  
  
"Heath." That was the end of that conversation. We walked in comfortable silence the rest of the way. Finally, after a convoluted maze of different hallways, we arrived at my room. He brushed his lips against my hand, causing my pulse to soar through the roof until I was in danger of cardiac arrest.  
  
"I sincerely apologize for any inconvienince or strain I've caused your friendship with the Lady Ainealda. Please extend my apologies to her, as well. This is where I leave you, Lady Vinyaduriel."  
  
"Vinya," I said automatically. He smiled, and a moment later, he was gone. Dazedly, I walked into my room, my dreaminess unsuspectingly about to be torn to pieces because of the verbal onslaught that awaited me inside in the form of a VERY disgruntled Ainaelda.  
  
A/N: Gotta get back into the swing of updating again...things don't seem to be looking up for them, do they? 


	10. Confrontation

Chapter 10-Confrontation  
  
The second I shut the door, a glass vase flew at my head. Without hesitation, I reached out and caught it. Pure reflex. Ainaelda had an ugly look on her face. A VERY ugly look.  
  
"Wow, suddenly ever since you're an Elf, you're Superman? Wonder if there's any kryptonite around?" I gently set the vase on the nearest flat space.  
  
"If I go, you're coming down with me, Wonderwoman."  
  
"Please. Don't go all Dixie Chicks on me. You aren't my nanny, you know!" I rolled my eyes, making quite sure that she saw it.  
  
"Oh gee, you know, I should have realized when you kicked him and he grabbed you that you were PERFECTLY fine, and I shouldn't interrupt. How stupid I've been!" She stood up, red in the face from anger. I had only seen her like this once, and it wasn't at me. It was when we were thirteen, and Dave Spence was dim-witted enough to steal her diary. When she found out, she turned that exact shade of red and threw her history book at him. It slammed him square in the face and gave him a black eye. You'd have thought he would have learned his lesson, but two days later, he teased her about the contents. I happened to be sitting next to her, and stopped her the second before she dove at him. We managed to get to the girl's bathroom before she burst into tears.   
  
I had seen Ainaelda in her lowest moments, and dried her tears, and I had seen her at her best moments, and planned the parties. Now, the girl I had cheered on, picked up when she fell, took the knife away from when she thought she was alone in her bathroom, she hated me and wanted me dead. Literally? I didn't know.  
  
"Hey, let me clue you in on a little secret, Katty: You aren't Batman. You can't go and expect people to fall over you. I don't care if you make Carmen Electra look like Mother Teresa, to me, you will never be Batman. You're just gonna be Fay Wray, screaming for King Kong to let her go." Oh. Oh, that really wounded me. Batman? Who said anything about Batman?  
  
"Listen, schizo girl, I HEARD you talking to him. You want me back, you know it. You MISS me. Admit it or not, you know it, I know it."  
  
"Oh, so now you're EAVESDROPPING on me? What happened to privacy? Somebody die and make YOU God, Katty? Think I fell asleep for that one."  
  
"News flash for Mina, we ain't in the states no more!" Finally, she looked like she was at the peak of her desperation. I had seen the same look on her face when she thought she was alone in the bathroom. When she didn't know I was even in her house. When she had stolen that knife from her kitchen. When I had thrown it out the window before she could make the cut worse. She had yelled at me then, too. She screamed and raged. When she found out that I had called her mother, she yelled even more. Then she cried. She wasn't going to cry now. She wasn't going to slash her wrist. But she was going to do something drastic. I could feel it.  
  
"Fine. Fine! You want it that way, we'll do it that way. Here, Katty, brutal truth. Fine. Okay." She took a deep breath, and I realized I was holding mine. I wasn't going to like what she was going to say. It looked like she was having a hard time saying this. I felt my anger ebb slightly. Ever so slightly.  
  
"Mina, are you okay?" She gave a hoarse laugh, like she had broncitis again.  
  
"Ainaelda." Okay, now I was completely and utterly confused.  
  
"What? I thought you said that you wanted to be called,"  
  
"Mina. I know," she interrupted, "call me Ainaelda. Just DO it!" she suddenly yelled. I was taken aback, and I shakingly obliged.  
  
"Ainaelda. There. Ainaelda, are you okay?" She gave another little hoarse laugh. More like a bark. A dog barking. This could only end in tears.  
  
"Okay." I was right, this WAS ending in tears; said tears were pricking in her eyes. Just like when I called her mother. "I wanted him to. I wanted him to kiss me. I liked it. But all I could think of was you, so I pushed him away. I wanted him to go crazy. No one's ever done that to me before. Think about it, Vinya. Everyone at our school hates us. You know why? It's not because we're mean, or stupid, or anti-social." I was shocked, but it hadn't really set in yet. I kept talking until it would.  
  
"It's because we're just plain weird."  
  
"Don't tell me you believe that. Please don't." I opened my mouth to protest, then closed it and shook my head desparingly.  
  
"I'm not that idiotic. I know it's not. But it's what I tell my mom." I added. Whenever my got into her rare 'Get involved with your teen's life' moods, she'd ask me how my friends were. I'd say Ainaelda was fine. She'd say no, what about my other friends. The problem with this is that I HAVE no other friends. She'd say that it was nonsense. I'd set her straight. She'd ask why, I'd say it was because everyone thought we were kooky because we knew a foreign language that didn't even exist. You really can't tell her the real reason.  
  
"Tell me why, then, if you know."  
  
"Ainaelda, where is this going?"  
  
"Tell me." I sighed.  
  
"Because we haven't had a boyfriend. And we haven't had one because we're pathetic geeks who are, and I quote, 'living unsatisfactorily in our day-to-day lives, and thus prefer to immerse ourselves in a culture that better appeals to our adventurous and creative instincts.'" I said, hating every word.  
  
"Exactly. I wanted that to happen. I wanted to have at least something in common with normal people." I snorted. The situation was serious, I knew that, but this was too funny.  
  
"Normal people? Normal people don't speak Sindarin, Ainaelda." Then, it sort of sunk in. My friend has kissed Legolas, and liked it. She had, and I hadn't. He liked her, not me. I slumped down. "Tell me one thing, Ainaelda, please." She looked at me strangely.  
  
"What? What do you want me to tell you that I haven't already?" I hesitated.  
  
"What ever happened to 'oh look, Vinya, it's the Elven pretty-boy from the Other Side'?" She smiled at that, and it was good to see a smile on her face again.  
  
"Have you ever been watching a movie, and you know that this one guy's gonna fall in love, but you think he's butt-ugly?" I crossed my arms over my chest and narrowed my eyes, the stereotypical black bad-girl pose, trained to intimidate.  
  
"Girl, you better not be calling Legolas Greenleaf butt-ugly." She rolled her eyes, but for once, she wasn't trying to be snide.  
  
"I'm getting to that. Anyways, you know what I'm talking about?" I had experienced my fair share of ugly movie stars. I nodded. "Well, then he falls in love, and he first kisses the girl, and he suddenly looks totally hot. You know?" Well, that question required some actual thought. Then, I had it. "West Side Story". I always thought Tony was kind of ugly. Then, he kissed Maria, and I thought he was actually pretty cute.  
  
"Okay. Yeah. I can see that." She wrinkled her nose, like she always did when she was amused.  
  
"Well, it's even more apparent when you're kissing him." I flopped onto the bed with a sigh.  
  
"You're going to rub this in my face for all eternity, aren't you? Anyway, what about Aragorn?"  
  
"Well, we got all eternity, don't we fellow Elf-maiden? I don't know, I still like Strider…but now I like Legolas! Ah, this is so confusing. What's next, Gandalf?" I shuddered.  
  
"Oh, if you're my friend, you won't say that EVER again!" And just like that, it was like we had never thrown a punch at each other. We giggled together, pairing up the most unlikely movie stars we could think of. About two hours later, after the mad laughter had subsided, Ainaelda rolled off the bed and hunted around the closet, which held a lot more than just dresses, we found, and found a knapsack. She promptly began to stuff the more wearable items, as in, not dresses, and other sundry items into it.  
  
"What are you doing?" I asked curiously. She grinned another grin I knew all too well. It was her devil-may-care, stop-me-I'm-dangerous look.  
  
"Elrond said we couldn't join the Fellowship." I rolled my eyes, my reflexive response to anything I found to be out of the ordinary.  
  
"Yeah, I was there, remember?" She was still grinning, not at all dismayed at my shot down.  
  
"Well, the way I figure, what Halfelven doesn't know can't hurt him." I slowly smiled, and found another knapsack and followed suit. Then, I slowly set it down. "Um, Ainaelda?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"They don't leave for another two months, remember?" 


	11. Missing the Fellowship

Chapter 11- Missing the Fellowship  
  
About a week later, I was having trouble sleeping, but I was pretty aware of the domesetic dangers of going outside for some air, even in a haven like Imaldris. So I lay in bed, trying not to move and disturb Ainaelda. My mind was blank; I just could not hold on to rational thought. I lay there, glassy-eyed and silent. Everything about me was asleep except my mind.  
  
"Kat?" Ainaelda was awake too? I could have sworn she was asleep. "Katty, are you awake?" she whispered. I was about to turn and tell her I was, but I stopped when she started speaking again. "Good. It's easier to talk to you like this. Katty, that day at the Council, the Ring spoke to me." I snapped my eyes shut quickly. Trying not to breathe, I lay as still as I possibly could. I wanted to hear this. It had spoken to her too? Weird… "I'm glad we learned the language of Mordor. Remember how I said it was pointless, and that we'd never need to know this? I'm glad you talked me into it. You know what it said? It was really spooky; the voice was all creepy, and it said: You want to go home. That's it. That's all it said. Nothing else. You want to go home. And I do. But how did it know that? Magic ring of power or not, it could not have known that. But I don't want to go home as badly as I did then.   
  
"Will it tempt me? Will I follow Boromir's fate? It's so scary… I want to go and make sure I'm stronger than that. At the same time, though, I'm scared that I won't be able to. I'm glad you're coming too. You won't be sucked in by it, because you are so incredibly cool like that. It's one of the reasons your my friend. I mean, you always just take things in stride. Because, I mean, if I learned that you kissed Aragorn, I so totally would not have been as cool about it as you were. You're awesome.  
  
"Thanks for listening. I missed you, you know. I didn't want to admit it; pride's a funny thing, don't you think?" With that, she turned over. Within five minutes, her steady breathing told me she was asleep. I swung my legs out and hopped off the bed. That was it; perilous or not, I needed to get outside.  
  
I walked around, careful to keep track of landmarks to lead me back. I had wrapped myself in a lilac robe, but the night was already warm. I rounded a corner, more concerned with remembering the angel-like statue for future reference than where I was going. Which turned out to be a shame, because I smacked right into Elrond.  
  
My eyes widened, but I curtsied anyway. I didn't really know how to do a curtsy, but I get points for trying, right? He looked at me, clearly not happy with what he saw. It was sort of this 'How can I kill you and make it look like an accident?' look. I didn't want him angry with me; like Aragorn, he was pretty scary when he was angry, and now that I didn't have adrenaline in me, I was thoroughly cowed.  
  
"Please, my Lord…should I call you my Lord?" He looked a touch annoyed me, but I couldn't really balme him; we duked it out in the middle of the Council, and not even very well. It must have been revolting to a warrior like him.  
  
"Lord Elrond will suffice, thank you." Well, even if he said it in a tone of voice that indicated that nothing would make him happier than to see me dropped into Mount Doom, he still TRIED to be a gentleman.  
  
"Okay…Lord Elrond. I want to apologize for the Council. If you had any idea what Ainaelda and I had gone through before this…but you don't, and our behavior was uncalled for. I'm sorry for that. I can only hope that you can forgive us." He gave me a side long look for a moment. Then,  
  
"I suppose that you were only acting your age. I often forget that even we Elves have our undignified moments. Though why Aragorn thought you fit to join, or why I allowed them to talk me into it is beyond my understanding. It is good of you to apologize, and I would be churlish to refuse." I curtsied again. Churlish? Hm, I should look that up, if I ever got home.  
  
"Thank you. Good evening." He nodded and continued walking. Then he turned, as if he remembered something.  
  
"Oh, Lady Vinyaduriel, I would not suggest wandering around at night any further than you already have. Things are dangerous nowadays." Then he continued walking as if nothing had happened. I took his advice and headed back to our room. Slowly, but I did.  
  
Well, since we had two months of leisure time, and healing time for our various bruises and scrapes, we were able to pack very thoroughly, and could scout out any items we had a deficit of.  
  
"Hey, Ainaelda, when are we gonna leave?" She gave me this 'duh' look.  
  
"Come on, I know you know when they're leaving."  
  
"I do, I just wondered when we're leaving."  
  
"Oh. Right. Well, I figure we start a little early, then head 'em off. They leave at dusk, so we'll just rest up real quick. This is going to be the event of a lifetime, my friend." I had to agree. I dressed for travel and jumped into the bed. It didn't make sense to get into my pj's just to change out of them an hour later. It was hard to nap, I was too excited. Too…excited…to sleep…  
  
I had just closed my eyes, it seemed, when Ainaelda yanked me out of bed onto the floor.  
  
"Whassat?" I asked very intelligently, still half asleep. She pulled me on my feet and shoved my knapsack at me, clearly in a state of panic.  
  
"Get dressed. Hurry! They left without us." Well, needless to say, THAT woke me up. I dropped my pack and rummaged through the closet, trying to find traveling clothes.  
  
"We're idiots, you know that? We knew perfectly well when they were leaving, and we slept through it like kindergarteners at nap time. What time is it?"  
  
"Sheesh, I don't know. I guess we'll have to learn how to tell it by the sun or moon, or whatever. But it can't be much later than eight or so."  
  
"Any idea what exact time they left?"  
  
"Dusk? I dunno, sixish?"  
  
"Crap." I yanked the belt that held a "borrowed" dagger on it around my waist and fastened it tight. Then, I was set to go. Wait, no I wasn't. I dropped a bowstring in this little fanny pack deal on the belt and pulled out an unstrung bow that would serve as a walking stick at the same time.  
  
"Wait," said Ainaelda, "try and string it. It would be a little set back if, when we got to the mines, that we found out that we can't string the stupid thing." That made sense. I pulled the string out, then stared at it dubiously. The staff was limber, sort of, but what if she was right? I looped the string over the end closest to me, then, working quickly, because it really isn't in an orc's nature to wait while someone strings their bow, I bent the bow and pulled it over the other end. Hey. That was pretty easy! "Now try and draw it. But don't put an arrow to it just yet." Ah, Ainaelda. Always the voice of sense. At least, she was before we got dunked in this weird place. Holding my breath, I gripped the string between my left thumb and pointer finger and pulled. It came back without complaint. Ainaelda grinned. "I'm impressed. Now unstring it and let's get out of here."  
  
"Sounds like a plan to me." I unstrung it, because even a beginner archer knows that if you leave a wooden bow strung it'll warp the wood, and I officially proclaimed myself ready. Ainaelda had no bow, but a dagger, like me, and a rapier that I don't even want to know how she obtained. Her father was a professional fencer and encouraged his children to try it as well. Her sister didn't, because, you know, it might wreck her manicure or something, but Ainaelda was all too willing to learn. And learn she did. We looked at each other. This was it. Moment of Truth. We could turn back now, and just stay safe in Rivendell. But hey, where's the fun in that? We walked out. 


	12. The Undocumented Side of Adventuring

Chapter 12-The Undocumented Side of Adventuring  
  
Twenty minutes later, after I had exhausted my knowledge of curses, I was seriously beginning to have second thoughts about this whole bold adventure thing. I had been bitten, scraped, scratched, bruised, and I don't know what else, and we hadn't run into any orcs, if that gives you any idea.  
  
"Hey Ainaelda," I panted, hacking my foot free from an entangling vine with the borrowed dagger. "maybe we can just, you know, go play Nintendo or something. It's a lot…safer…" She smiled, clearing the worst of the brush with her little rapier. Actually, it wasn't really a rapier; it was a slim, double edged blade. It was as long as a normal sword, but it was slightly skinnier than two of my fingers. It was sharp as hell, though; I had an attractive missing chunk of hair when she wasn't watching what was brush and what wasn't.  
  
"Sounds great, except that Nintendo doesn't exist here. The absence of Japan creates a little set back there. Other than that, why not?"  
  
"Hardy…har…har…man, I need to…excersize more…" I had a stitch in my side the size of Montana, and I was just beginning to see how attached I was to oxygen.  
  
"Don't worry on that count. I heard slaying orcs is a great way to burn the calories." I'm such a girl. Here I am, on the adventure of a life time, and I'm still fretting about not having any Slim Fast with me. Well, what could you do? We continued amatuerly tracking them. It wasn't easy, but with a party that size, it wasn't exactly hard, either. Between us we knew exactly nothing about tracking, but we knew to follow the broken weeds and horse shoe marks in the patches of soft ground that popped up every now and then. Finally, after what seemed like hours, but it was probably only an hour or so, we stopped for a short break. I collapsed on a handy stone.  
  
"Huh. Funny how they never mention this sort of stuff when they talk about the derring-do of high adventure." Ainaelda snorted with laughter.  
  
"Derring-do of high adventure? What, are we on a pirate ship now?" I shoved her off her rock.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Chuckles. How far do you think we are from them?" She dusted herself off and sat back down again.  
  
"You're asking me like I would know. Let's think. They had two hours on us when we left. We've been traveling for an hour or so, I think, faster than they are." I looked at her quizically.  
  
"Yes, let's. It's a wizard, an Elf, two really good forest men, a dwarf that might prove a little hindering, but okay, and four hobbits and a pony. How do you figure?" She rolled her eyes.  
  
"Look, I know just as much as you do. And that's squat. But that's nine people. Not counting the pony. And we're only two. We GOTTA be moving faster than them."  
  
"So, Ms. Science, whatcha got in the way of estimated time?"  
  
"I'd say, another hour, maybe two, and we get 'em." I nodded and stood.  
  
"I don't believe a word. Let's get going." She grinned. This was right up there with the clothes thing. We set out again, and I felt better now that I had my wind back.  
  
But later, I was cursing Ainaelda and her stupid 'Let's go team!' attitude. We were still traveling, and the Fellowship was nowhere near in view. We hadn't even found any tracks lately.  
  
"Two hours, Vinya, no guarantees, no refunds. We're faster then they are, Vinya," I muttered, massaging a cramp out of my calf as we stopped for the remainder of the night. I looked up at Ainaelda, who was clumsily trying to start a fire with a flint stone and the blade of her little rapier-like thingy. "Can I complain?" I asked. She rolled her eyes.  
  
"I can't really stop you. Darned—stupid—thing!" She yelled, throwing down the stone and sword in disgust. I grinned and reclined on my knapsack. I always felt better after a good complaint.  
  
"Good." Then, I quit the cheerful act. "We were supposed to find them about a million hours ago, I've never been this exhausted in my life, I'm getting calluses on my feet, I didn't think Elves got this tired, I'm gonna be SO sore come tomorrow, and somehow, someway, this is ALL YOUR FAULT!" She didn't even blink. Again. Like the clothes. We were all too used to this to care.  
  
"Thanks. Try your luck?" She brandished the flint stone at me. I stared at it. This couldn't be much harder than using those starters for the Bunsen burners in science. Could it? I drew my dagger carefully and took the stone from Ainaelda. I knelt in front of the pathetic little pile of wood and brush and twigs with trepidation. I struck. Nothing. Again. Nada. Suddenly, Ainaelda shoved me out of the way, and I just managed to keep all my fingers.  
  
"Oh! I got it now! I see what I was doing wrong!" Lo and behold, she struck once, and a spark flew, in a perfect arc, right on the little pile of brush. Through trial and error (mostly error) we soon got a little fire started. And they say Girl Scouts doesn't teach a girl any useful skills! I was starting to doze off, still feeling the effect of the Elven food that Ainaelda had pilfered. While I was busy worrying, Ainaelda had been planning, it turned out. She had relieved the kitchen of half of its contents, it seemed, plus a bunch of other things. I had to admit, even I never knew Ainaelda was so…so…devious. Then, something about the place changed. I sat up. Ainaelda was sitting up too. 'I feel it too,' she mouthed in the dark. Someone was coming. 


	13. Catching the Fellowship

A/N: Any canon nazis reading this (I hope there are some) will recognize that Im using Grey Havens Elvish. I will just take this time to reemphasize that THAT IS THE POINT. Read on!  
  
Chapter 13-Catching the Fellowship  
  
"Yrch," I whispered, instinctively reverting to Sindarin, the language I used when I panicked. It drew funny looks from the people in my class, when I flunked a test, or something and started shouting. Ainaelda jumped up and smothered the pitiful embers that were left with a double handful of dirt. It was like using a boulder to squash an ant. We hastily packed what little we had out and looked around. Then, we looked up and jumped for the nearest tree branch. We were in the middle breanches and making enough noise for five people when the people we heard coming came. Muttered voices…  
  
"Amin sinta en fea sinoma…" Elvish. Not orcs. But they had seen our fire.  
  
"You can't be sure it was HERE, can you?"  
  
"Somewhere close to here. Aiya, sinoma, fire remains. Still warm! They knew we were coming, and they can't have gone far. We should have been more careful."  
  
"I thought it was orcs, or else I would have been more careful. Come on, we probably scared them away." I looked up at Ainaelda, who was trying not to breathe. They were leaving. This was good. The mysterious duo had almost gotten out of the sight we had claimed as our own when we both relaxed. When we did so, we both slipped. I grabbed on to the branch above me, wincing as the branches we snapped fell noisily to the ground.  
  
"Ai! Someone IS here! I was right!" They ran back, and we acted simultaneously. Without any conference beforehand, we both jumped, taking them by surprise from above.  
  
"Yaaaaaahh!" Our somewhat disjointed battlecry resounded in the night woods as I got my attacker in a headlock and slammed his face into the ground. Suddenly, the tiny clearing flooded with light, almost blindingly so. Then, when the nice little sparkles in front of my vision cleared, I saw exactly where I was and a sight that might have been laughable, had there been different parties involved as onlookers.  
  
Gandalf held up his staff with a small chunk of lighted crystal. I was stunned; he was the last person I expected to see, or so I thought. Then I looked down to see who Ainaelda and I had in a headlock and found I was wrong.  
  
Legolas Greenleaf, for once seperated from his bow, which was lying about six feet to our left, was face down in the ground with me on top of him. Aragorn was in a similar position with Ainaelda, who seemed thouroughly shocked and pleased at the same time. The happiness that I was just starting to feel, however, was short-lived when Legolas suddenly stood up, as did Aragorn, trying to throw us off. Hey, I might be about half as tall as Mr. Handsome-as-all-get-out-Elf, but I hadn't been riding horses since I was five for nothing. I held on with my knees and hands until he was half way stood up in this weird piggy back position. Then, as he evidently didn't expect me to hang on, he overbalanced and fell backwards, with me under him. Hadn't we been in this position once before, with about the exact same amount of romance involved? Ainaelda snorted with laughter from her position, sprawled on the ground where Aragorn had dumped her. She wasn't the one who had ridden horses.  
  
"Well, this is a touch redundant, don't you think?" I let go quickly, and he got up just as quickly. As this episode was going on, the rest of the Fellowship had come up. The first person I saw was Boromir. From the look on his face, we had not exactly made his day. Then Gimli, who looked like he hated me even more, if that was possible. Then the four hobbits, grinning insanely, except Frodo and Merry, who looked like they didn't care if it was Sauron himself; they wanted to be back in bed. Gandalf looked torn between unbridled amusement and grave sobreity.  
  
"We meet again, young maids." Ainaelda gave me a hand up and I stood, brushing dirt and leaves off myself. I shrugged and answered while I was doing so.  
  
"I guess so." Boromir strode in front, not quite as civil as Gandalf had been.  
  
"What are you doing here? We thought you were orcs! We could have accidentally shot you, or ambushed you, and no one would have known the difference until daylight! This is one of the most foolish things you have done in a list of foolish things since your arrival here two months ago! I sincerely suggest you tone things down a bit or you may find yourself a pincushion before you can blink. We DO have two expert archers, you realize." The hobbits crowded around, and Ainaelda had seemed to become one of Sam's favorites.  
  
"What were you doing all the way out here?" Gandalf walked up and seperated us from the hobbit's eager questioning.  
  
"That, I think, is a question we would all like the answer to. An explanation would be appreciated." We looked at each other, shrugged, faced him again, and answered, all in unison.  
  
"We want to come with you." I don't think they expected us to be in perfect unison like that, because they all looked sort of surprised. Pippin's surprise, however, was quickly forgotten.  
  
"What, did you plan that while you were tracking us?"  
  
"Out of the question," said Boromir adamantly, "completely out of the question. Do you realize how serious this is? This isn't some game you can play, then quit or try again when you lose. I will NOT have you accompany us and risk the safety of all Middle Earth." Touching speech. Like I care.  
  
"Look, uh, I think we know that. We probably know more about the One Ring than you do! We can help you, okay? We know things you don't." Gandalf tried not to look too interested.  
  
"Indeed? Give me an example, if you are so knowledgeable." Ainaelda, apparently, had decided that it was her turn to speak up, so she cut me off before I had a chance to say anything about crebain, or the wolves that were stalking and/or going to stalk them.  
  
"All right. For example, did you realize at this very minute we're being watched by spies from Saruman?" Wow. Talk about great minds thinking alike. Immediately, everyone looked around, as if they could see black birds at night, Legolas nocking an arrow to his bow, and Aragorn and Boromir both half-drawing their swords.  
  
"Psh. You can't SEE them. If you could, what kind of spies are they? But they're there, don't fret too much." What great words of encouragement I can offer when I want to, eh? Gimli quit his instinctive search, looking embarrassed that he was actually taking us seriously.  
  
"That does not convince me in any way that you should come along. We can deal with spies and such as they come, and I doubt two teen-aged girls, Elven or no, could tip the balance of our luck any better than it already is" Ainaelda rolled her eyes.  
  
"Please. You need all the help you can get, and I'm not being sarcastic, either. Think about it: how many Nazgul are there?" That caused a bout of raised eyebrows. Well, duh. We knew about the One Ring, why shouldn't we know about the Nazgul? It sort of comes with the territory, you know?  
  
"Nine," answered Frodo. He'd know all too well, wouldn't he?  
  
"Now, how many of you are there in the Fellowship?"  
  
"Nine," answered Frodo again, somewhat hesitantly.  
  
"Good. Now, hypothetically supposing we join you, how many would be in the Fellowship then?"  
  
"Eleven." I knew they could do it!  
  
"Now, we can fight. Would we be outnumbering the Nazgul if we joined you?" Gimli looked annoyed, because we were right, and Boromir looked like someone just told him that his favorite dog just died. Gandalf and the hobbits, however, looked slightly interested.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And don't you think this might give you a distinct advantage over any, I don't know, goblins you might encounter?"  
  
"I suppose it might, if you are as able as you claim. However—" There was a shink of steel as Ainaelda whipped out her little rapier thing, and I pulled my strings and staff down from the tree I had been hiding in previously. Taking fastidious care, I strung it and nicked one of Legolas's arrows from his quiver.  
  
"Care to try us?" They all looked slightly taken aback. Apparently they weren't used to girls randomly pulling out weapons and at least looking like they knew how to use them. Well, I mean, Middle Earth women were warriors too, look at Arwen and Eowyn, but honestly? We're probably the least likely-looking fighters in this world and others.  
  
"But," said Boromir, "Elrond specifically said there should be nine companions." Nobody paid .attention to him, probably because he just muttered it.  
  
"Lady Vinyaduriel, you first." I shrugged at Aragorn, who had spoken.  
  
"Pick your mark." He cast around for a suitable target, and I hoped to all get out that he wouldn't pick something insanely hard. Finally, he walked out and fixed a scrap of cloth, maybe a handkercheif, to a tree about ten yards away. Good. A decent shot, not too easy, but this was about the length that they put the targets back in gym. Only complication: the cloth was a bit smaller than the bulls-eye. I smiled anyway. I could do it. I planted my feet and drew the arrow, taking a deep breath to center myself. Then, as I released the breath, I shot. As it always did before, the manuever worked. The arrow thunked into the cloth. Not dead center, but it was definetely cloth, and I hadn't accidentally killed some innocent squirrel, either. Legolas looked at me, not very impressed, but that's his problem if he thinks a sixteen-year old girl should be able to shoot on his level. At least I was still a somewhat decent shot.  
  
Then, everyone looked at Ainaelda, who still had her sword drawn, as Pippin ran to pull my arrow out of the tree. Boromir stepped up to her and drew his sword, a forbidingly large and heavy sword. Next to his, hers looked laughably tiny. I sincerely hoped he wouldn't hurt her. They both went into the guard position, and then the sword fight that our futures most likely hinged on began.  
  
I saw one major flaw with Ainaelda's idea: Boromir didn't fence. I have to give her credit, though, she held up admirably well. After all, maybe I'm just saying this from ignorance, but sword play and fencing seemed to have a lot in common. Even as an outsider, though, I could tell that Ainaelda's skill was nowhere near that of Boromir's. She seemed to be defending herself more than attacking him, and I knew that was bad. Occaisionally, she'd drive him back, but he'd always recover. The rest of the Fellowship and I were like spectators at a tennis match; our eyes went back and forth, back and forth, to whoever held the advantage at that moment. Then, I saw a flaw with Boromir: he was used to hard, pitched skirmishes that didn't last longer than twenty minutes or so; Ainaelda's youthful vitality and permanent caffeine high kept her energy up, and her Elven abilities kept her light on her feet, even as he was exhausting most of his.  
  
Didn't seem to help her case much, though; even with all her skill and lightness, he eventually disarmed her and had her backed up against a tree. I started to applaud, then stopped when nobody else seemed to be. They had to let us in, they just had to! Ainaelda was good; she lasted almost ten minutes against Boromir, and he's no joke with that sword. I picked up hers where it had fallen and cleaned it, handing it back to her.  
  
The Fellowship went into a huddle, but made no attempt to muffle the decision making process. Finally, they faced us, arms crossed and legs akimbo. Gandalf was the elected spokesperson, it seemed. He lighted his staff a little more and planted it in the ground like a Middle Earth-ish tiki torch.  
  
"We have a reached our decision, young maids." I stood up. For the love of all that is good, why won't they just remember that we have names? Are Vinya and Ainaelda really that hard to remember? Oh yes, our futures being decided. Moving on, then Frodo piped in.  
  
"I had a bit of say in it all, being the Ring Bearer. We feel that the decision we have made is the right one." Why do they have to take an ocean cruise to step around a frikin' rock on the frikin' beach? Then Legolas stood up. I am still in awe of him, because now I can say that he is definetely the hottest guy I know.  
  
"It might require a bit of sacrifice, but that is what this Fellowship is about, is it not?" I nodded dreamily, blushing when he caught me gazing at him. Boromir and Gimli looked sulky, if dwarves that short and men that noble-looking could be said to look sulky. That settled it. I knew we were in. Gandalf seconded my opinions shortly thereafter.  
  
"We have decided to let you join the Fellowship of the Ring." 


	14. Unusual Occurances

Chapter 14—Unusual Occurances

                We cheered and hugged each other, happy happy joy joy. Then we turned our attentions to our now-fellow members. Everyone else, including Gimli and Boromir, got hugs all around. Half of them looked like they instantly regretted their decision. I threw myself into Legolas's arms first, of course. It felt nice, throwing my arms around him. I wondered whether to push my luck and move in for a kiss (on the cheek of course), then decided to leave it be. I did kiss Gandalf and the hobbits, Gandalf because he reminded me so much of someone's grandfather, and the hobbits because they were just too cute. But I wasn't quite as enthusiastic with the Blues Brothers, if only because they didn't look like they'd appreciate it much. We were now part of the Fellowship!

                The next day, I kept reminding myself: _It's worth it because of Elf-boy, it's worthy because of Elf-boy_. I was twice as sore when we stopped that night, because I was still sore from last night. I tried not to complain, because that would not help my standing much. So I tried to bear it in silence. Couldn't say the same thing for Ainaelda, though. She hadn't stopped to breathe since nightfall, muttering non-stop under her breath about how she had never been this sore in her life, not even when she was five and her sister pushed her down the stairs and broke her arm. Well, at least she wasn't saying it to the world. Only I could hear her, which, given the nature of what she was saying, was probably a good thing. Finally, as she unwound her hair from snagging twigs for the umpteenth time, she snapped. So did the offending twigs.

                "I can't take it anymore, Vinya!" she yelled. She threw her pack down, yanked my dagger and, to the astonishment of all present onlookers, began to hack at her hair. I got out of my stunned state and gingerly walked up in front of her.

                "Ainaelda?"

                "No, just stay away. I always thought that having long hair would be the greatest. Well, it's hell, plain and simple. Just back away and let me do this! If it gets tangled in trees one more time, I'm going to go stark, raving mad! And at least yours is straight! This curly stuff? It just gets dirty and tangled to the nth degree!"

                "Can I help you?"

                "Please!" Using my minimal barber skills, I managed to get all off, albeit unevenly, to well above her shoulders. She heaved a sigh of relief when I was done.

                "There. So much cooler. And lighter. Want me to do yours?" There was really only one answer to that when your friend is wielding your knife.

                I was woken up the next morning by Ainaelda screaming like a woman possessed. She shook me by the shoulders and jammed a handful of sickeningly perfect ringlets in my face.

                "_It grew back_!" she shrieked. "_Our hair grew back_!" I leapt up, horrified, and saw that it was true. Her hair and mine looked like they had this time yesterday: waist-length and untouched. So we repeated the process of cutting it short. Lo and behold, the next morning, it was back again.

                This was more than I could take. Now _I_ was the one acting deranged. I cut off Ainaelda's hair again, probably sloppier than was necessary, and my own, muttering over and over again, after each cut, "Stay off, stay off, stay off, dammit!"

                The next day, it was just as short as it had been the night before. Peace reigned once more in the feminine side of the camp.

                We traveled for weeks, and I was convinced I would never get used to the strain. But, ever so slightly, I did. So there's an upside: I gained a hell of a lot of lower body strength. We complained to each other anyway, if only because we were still in love with the pampered world of modern day America. As in, 'Why did I ever leave the world of shampoo?' and 'As soon as I get home, I'm going to hug my Advil and never let go.' We were ready to take an early break one day, as we had made good time earlier. Besides, I privately figured, Sauron wasn't going anywhere. He could just wait for us (or, more accurately, Frodo and Sam) to come to him. I collapsed on the white rocks, ready to catch up on some much-needed sleep. Something kept niggling in the corner of my mind, but I was too tired to care. I drifted off to sleep, listening to the crackle of the fire and the clash of swords as Boromir, Merry, and Pippin practiced swordplay… I sat bolt upright, just as Legolas made the following observation:

                "Crebain from Dunland!" I knew it! I should have remembered that we were here! I rolled over and slapped Ainaelda. She was about to fall asleep, too, but she was still somewhat awake.

                "Shit! Why didn't you tell me we were this far?" I shrugged and dove for cover.

                "I've completely lost track of time, don't blame me. I only just remembered! And I kind of thought it would be like the book, when we're all asleep…" We rolled under a rock and cracked heads with Merry and Pippin. At the same time, we pushed our fingers to our mouths and said "Ssssh!" As I watched, the black birds flew over us, squawking and circling. From the limited vantage point that having your face smashed against a rock provides, I saw some of the others, and it was all too obvious the crebain could see us. But they wouldn't attack, I knew that. They'd just report back to Sauron, who'd try to bring the whole freaking Pass of freaking Caradhras down on us. After what seemed like an unbearable eternity, they left, and we all slowly got out, in case, you know, they decided to come back. I knew they wouldn't, so why was I so damn jumpy? Gandalf shook his head and squinted out after them.

                "Spies from Sauron! Our passage south has been watched." I didn't understand this world at all. Sometimes it would be snippets from the movie, other times it would be book-based. Now it had switched back to movie. Would I ever get used to this? Wait a minute, what was I talking about? So, we set out for the Pass of Caradhras.

                I hate cold. I can stand almost anything but cold. And mosquito bites. And boats. And Ainaleda's older sister. But let's concentrate on the cold. I'm not a winter person. But we had semi-warm clothes, so I was relatively happy. Relatively. Two days into it, Ainaelda and I submitted to the ultimate temptation; we made a snowman. It was a big snowman, as big as we could make it. The bottom snowball came up to my waist; the finished snowman was about a foot taller than I was. We thoroughly annoyed the Fellowship during the process; I don't think they liked how we treated it all like a game. But you can't be serious when you're making a snowman. Merry and Pippin chipped in too, helping to roll snowballs bigger than they were. Everyone else didn't seem to like it much. Heck to them.

                "We should name it," said Ainaelda, whittling a piece of Merry's walking stick to a point, because of a lack of carrots, with my dagger.

                "Definitely," I said, digging through the snow for some fist-sized rocks that would serve for buttons, or eyes, or something.

                "Well, what do we name it? After something, or just a random name?" Ainaelda tested the point of the misshapen cone she had been carving and winced as she caught a splinter.

                "I don't know; what do you want to name it?" I gave a little cry of surprise as I tripped over a hidden tree root and fell flat on my butt. In the snow. On an outcrop of rocks. So, I found my rocks, but now my butt was wet and cold. Ainaelda boosted Pippin up as he fixed the little wooden cone in the very center of the top snowball.

                "There! There! I did it!" He cried, and tried to jump up and down. Except that it didn't quite work, so Ainaelda overbalanced and fell backwards. Into the snow. So now her butt was wet and cold too. Before any of us could make a move or a sound, I heard this deep bass laugh. A quick one, to be sure, but it was still there. I looked around. Gimli was laughing. Not laughing AT us. Actually laughing WITH us. He looked furious with himself, like he was actually making us feel like we belonged. I LIKED Gimli. Not like I like Legolas, but still, I think dwarves are cool. What was his problem? But he was gradually lightening up. We all laughed after that, the two hobbits, Ainaelda and I. Frodo and Sam smiled slightly, Legolas and Aragorn grinned, but didn't laugh, and Boromir still looked annoyed. What's new?

                "I got it!" yelled Ainaelda, still on the ground, "When I fell, I thought of a really good name!"

                "Great," I said, "what is it?" She looked excited and jumped up, brushing rapidly-melting snow off of herself. She danced around and shook me by the shoulders. "Ainaelda, two things: One, decaf. Two, what's you're brilliant name?" She smiled her cocky little smile.

                "J.R.R." Well, I suppose that had a certain ring to it.

                "Just that? No Tolkien?" Everyone looked at us curiously, like they were trying to remember something. Ainaelda shook her head.

                "Nope. Just J.R.R." I nodded and stole Ainaelda's sword from her, gently tapping the snowman's 'shoulders', two misshapen sticks.

                "I dub thee J.R.R. Serve honorably and well!" Ainaelda grinned and stole her sword back from me.

                "Thanks. Can we call him Jay?" I closed my eyes and grimaced in mock pain.

                "Do not profane his name so! But yeah, I think Jay sounds good." So, we both slept on either side of Jay the snowman that night, to the amusement of all. But later, as we said good-bye to Jay the next morning, Legolas confronted us both.

                "Who is this J.R.R. Tolkien you named the…the…snow…after? I will swear unto my father that the name sounds terribly familiar." I snorted with laughter briefly. They thought they knew who J.R.R. Tolkien was? I wonder if all story characters thought that, you know, Tamora Pierce was the Goddess or something. I thought about how to answer this.

                "He's a magician of the written word." I answered finally. Which was perfectly true. Legolas frowned, utterly confused, but we rushed past him and walked on before he could pursue further. I felt a little discomfort at what awaited us, because I was sure this was when we ran into Saruman's bad hair day. Then, predictably, Frodo tripped and lost the Ring. Boromir picked it up and said his 'Tis a strange fate' line, but I wasn't listening. Ainaelda's gaze was riveted on the Ring. She looked like Boromir did at the end of the movie. Was the Ring seducing her? What if she messed up the entire plot by going for the Ring? Especially before Boromir does. Oh, I knew we shouldn't have joined the Fellowship! Then, a moment later, Frodo took the Ring back, somewhat forcefully, and it was all over. Did I just imagine it? I hoped I just imagined it, because that was a complication we could all do without.

                About two hours after we stopped for lunch, we hit the pass. The snow started, and I think walking on snow is a cultivated skill, because even though perfect Legolas was walking on the slim crust of snow like he was waltzing down a broad sidewalk, I sank about calf-deep and slogged along as best I could. Ainaelda wasn't much better off than I was, but at least we could sort of walk on the snow. I listened as hard as I could, waiting for Saruman and not really listening to the flow of conversation. Then, I heard it. Echoing around was a deep voice that could only belong to one person. I punched Ainaelda savagely.

                "Listen! Guess who!" Her eyes widened with fear and she looked around, then up, waiting, quite literally, for lightning to strike. Then, Legolas stepped up.

                "There is a fell voice on the air…" Thanks, Captain Obvious.

                "IT'S SARUMAN!!" yelled Gandalf as shower of rocks fell. I covered my head. Did I mention that I hate cold? I hate it, I hate it, I _hate_ it. Gandalf stood up with his staff. Yay, magic in action! Too bad nothing happened, as far as I could tell. Then the lightning struck. I leaned out, to see it better, then remembered that this would probably not be a good idea and flattened myself against the opposite rock wall. Just as the avalanche came down.

                Something was on me, something that wasn't snow.

                "Ainaelda?" I yelled, getting a mouthful of snow. I feebly spat it out and tried to flail around, dig myself out, but something was trapping my arms. Then, the weight was lifted off. It was Gimli, of all the weird people. When the snow fell, he had either been thrown against me or jumped without looking. We quickly sprang apart, and I looked around for Ainaelda. Where was she? Then we slapped into each other. It was complete confusion while they debated our next move. Since I already knew, I didn't listen, I just followed. I felt slightly sick. Why? Was it possibly the several tons of snow that had fallen on my head? Perhaps. Yeah, that was probably it. Concussions are no fun, and I speak from experience. P.E., seventh grade, soccer unit. I got whapped in the face with a mud-coated soccer ball while I was goalie.

                I got a concussion. The other team still scored anyway.

                But still, that had been four years ago. I hadn't experienced this dizziness in a long time, and I couldn't even laugh when the world switched back to book and Legolas said his 'I'm off to find the sun!' line. Actually, the last time I had dizziness remotely like this was the first time I took Vick's 44 Cough Syrup. 10% alcohol. That was interesting, I must say. Ainaelda must have noticed my less-than-perky state, because she sneaked in a supporting arm. When we finally got clear of the snowstorm, a few days later, I was still feeling rotten. I had dizzy spells, weakness, but no fever or anything. I felt queasy, but I hadn't thrown up. I ate, but I wasn't hungry, and I was never exactly full either. When we got to Moria, I was a little nervous. If I felt this way when we ran into the orcs, I was in deep trouble. So was everyone else, but chiefly me. I sat down wearily, feeling like I hadn't slept in months. The world reversed into movie, and Pippin picked up a rock. With a feeling of doom, Ainaelda and I watched. She punched me as he started to idly palm the stone.

                "Vinya, we gotta stop him! You are not up to dealing with the Watcher, and that would just be a good thing, wouldn't it? We don't need to kill anything, no matter how many tentacles its got, right?"

                "I always thought that the Watcher was a rip-off of a kraken…but who's counting?" Pippin put his arm back to throw.

                "Vinya!" I sighed, beginning to feel panicky at the thought of fighting anything.

                "What? Okay, what am I supposed to do, point and say _Wingardium__ Leviosa_?" As I demonstrated this, Pippin launched the stone over the water. It stopped dead, hanging in midair over the surface. We both stared, my arm still outstretched. Suddenly, my symptoms were gone. It was like I had never been sick in my life. Everyone stared at me. The rock still hung suspended. Ainaelda gave a delayed yelp, and the stone dropped with an echoing splash.


End file.
